Running Anger: On a RoadTrip to Somewhere

Running again

2011-08-18T22:57:00.002-04:00

Back training for the Chicago Marathon. The plan this year is a combination of 4-5 runs a week with a couple nights at the gym mixed in. In addition, I am throwing out the drinking and the meat during the week to put a healthier diet in place.

Tonight I ran a nice 15 mile run. Sure i ran down the west side highway which is basically a two lane bike path that allows walkers, drunkards, bicyclists runners and roller bladers to all mash together and try not to kill each other... As an aside, roller bladers give it the fuck up especially the men and women who go out there all geared up like they are pros... Here's my thing, unless I see you in one of special vignettes they show during the Winter Olympics on NBC about how you trained in NYC in the off season in order to make it to the Olympics in speed skating, I don't want to see you out there and I especially don't want to see you wearing a shit ton of gear like someone actually gave enough of a shit to sponsor your ass...

But I digress.... all and all it was a pretty neat night to run with lightening all the way down the west side and when we went over the Brooklyn Bridge. So far all is on the up and up... more runs this weekend...

Tis the Season

2009-12-16T12:15:00.003-05:00

To post really disturbing shiz on facebook, today's prime is example comes from somewhere out west, as Mommy X writes:

"Got some fireworks to put in the boys' stockings--they are going to LOVE Santa (and my parenting skills get better with each passing year:))

Now, admittedly, I am not a parent and probably in some states it is illegal for me to be within 100 feet of a child, but I am pretty confident that providing your children, who appear to be no older than five years old, with low level explosives is a horrible idea.

Further, when Tiny Tim's hand gets blown the fuck off as the result of your "decision" to arm him like Al Quaeda, I do not think that this whole Santa defense that you have conveniently worked into your Facebook status is going to hold up in a court of law. I mean yes the kids are going to LOVE Santa but I guarantee the ladies at the State Penn are going to LOVE your sweet ass so much more...

And finally, I love how you openly mock yourself-- assuming that last part about your parenting skills is sarcasm--and your decision to give them fireworks. At least when it's all over and Six Finger Samuel is out of the hospital, we can have a good laugh about it...I mean what is life without humor?

Merry Christmas indeed.

NYC Marathon Tips

2009-10-28T15:43:00.005-04:00

As a runner of the NYC marathon last year, I have decided this qualifies me to start providing advice to other runners about this year's race. As a result, I am tweeting, facebook statusing, and gchat statusing my tips to the masses... but might as well add them here as well... so without further ado and in no real order... my tips for the marathon:

1. Don't drink the water or eat the hand sanitizer in the porta potties.

2. It is advisable to bring a blanket to the start of the NYC Marathon in order to keep yourself warm. It is not, however, advisable to name your kid, Blanket (See: Michael Jackson).

3. Pee in the streets... everyone else does anyway

4. It’s probably a 70-30 split on people who are actually screaming and cheering you on versus people who are actually just screaming cause they are crazy…

5. Lube...you figure it out.

6. During your taper a carton of Kools is a bad idea... Otherwise, game on.

7. when using a porta potty at the start do not bother to paper the seat... News flash you already decided to put your ass through a marathon.. Urine is not the deal breaker.

8. Go out with the kenyans... Seriously try to date one.. They win all the time and are probably loaded.

9. Things to drink during a marathon- water, gatorade, etc.... Things not to drink-piss.

10. Unicorns... Leprechauns... Big Foot... Things you will see while running a marathon or while on good acid.

11. The first beer you have after a marathon is like that the first beer you had when you were twelve i.e. delicious.

12. In the words of Ron Burgundy: " I believe it's jogging or yogging. it might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild."

13. There are many other activities that you can do that induce bowel failure.

14. Enjoy rediscovering stairs..

15. SHUT UP AND RUN- this is for your friends and family who are tired of hearing you talk and obsess

about the marathon... We get it ..just run the damn thing...

16. Phidippides died after the running the 26 miles to Athens... just sayin'...

17. Smelling like ass... So here is the deal... People decide to run but do not bathe and smell like ass.. How does one commit to train for a marathon but not to bathe?

18. The expression "Hitting the Wall"" should be replaced with "THE TAKING OF YOUR SOUL..."

19. I once felt really proud about the fact that I run marathons.. then I realized that Oprah ran one... (okay that's not a tip... I just hate Oprah)...

20. Think of the people with no legs... Okay, I am not sure what this means exactly or how it applies.. But my mother always said it to me when I felt sorry for myself.

21. A marathon that describes its course as scenic just means they are providing you with the opportunity to learn to hate mother nature over the course of 26.2 miles.

22. Carbo loading does not mean eating enough pasta to feed the entire country of Italy.. Just like hydrating does not mean drinking so much water you develop gills...

23. WINE! i am drinking it but those marathoners running tomorrow cannot.. Suckers..

24. Atleast your nipples won't bleed... Oh wait...

25. WTF 300 POUND MAN- I agree with you on this one and have no explanation as to how exactly he runs marathons without dying..

26. It's always the .2 that gets you...

26.2. To all the runners running the NYC marathon today... RUN LIKE HELL CAUSE I AM CHASING YOU.. BEST OF LUCK!

From Today's Great Headlines

2009-08-13T11:15:00.002-04:00

Here is one from the New London Day:

Montville In Search Of The Happy Ending

This headline proves once again that I am still thirteen years as I chuckle everytime that I read it. Hey Montville, I know a place down here in the Big Apple where we can make sure you find what you are looking for.

My Month Of July Through The Eyes Of My Twitter Pants

2009-08-12T14:31:00.004-04:00

Here is the month of july from last to first...as always in order to read this appropriately, please insert Dingle Jones in front of each of these:

down to the baltimore to pay my respects to omar....11:54 PM Jul 31st from web
always wanted a guy named Victor on the Sox.4:15 PM Jul 31st from web
it's the Imaginary Invalid and it's funny... what more do u need:http://bit.ly/175lkZ11:00 AM Jul 30th from web
the debut.....http://bit.ly/4bhhEH12:37 AM Jul 29th from web
firm outing tomorrow... kill me.5:22 PM Jul 28th from web
Golf, Play, Yanks Game, Dram Shop, NYC Tri...I live my life.6:26 PM Jul 25th from web
Is pleading with ESPN to make Brett Favre go away.1:28 PM Jul 23rd from web
to help the fight: http://bit.ly/XUB9S6:00 PM Jul 22nd from web
just found an old piece of bacon on his desk and ate it.3:49 PM Jul 21st from web
says hey Rick just serve him the fucken breakfast!11:23 PM Jul 20th from web
good morning funny pants John Daly.10:19 AM Jul 18th from web
love seeing jerry jones and the word wax in the same sentence ...http://bit.ly/rFt3X1:56 PM Jul 17th from web
@sportsguy33 The Hold Steady's version of Atlantic City is a personal attack against Springsteen and his career. Terrible.11:11 PM Jul 16th from web in reply to sportsguy33
it's like if braveheart is on, my tired is a good tired.10:05 PM Jul 16th from web
hey Joe Buck nice to see you "think the national league is catching up".. stop using McCarver's brain!11:55 PM Jul 14th from web
to the person who has been outside my office all day with the megaphone... PLEASE TAKE YOUR MEGAPHONE AND SHOVE IT!3:57 PM Jul 13th from web
East Lyme CT and adult book stores... match made in heaven:http://bit.ly/1LoN511:08 AM Jul 10th from web
did not dunk on LeBron but his friend did block Vin Baker once.1:47 PM Jul 9th from web
is glad to see Nomar back and hates Julio Lugo.7:47 PM Jul 6th from web
glad to see Nomah back.7:34 PM Jul 6th from web

Today's Winner is....

2009-08-12T14:14:00.002-04:00

Madame X: Daughter Y would be 3 for 3, but she made it all the way to the bathroom but just couldnt get her clothes off in time and pee pee'd on the floor in front of the potty!!! she gets an A+ for effort!!!

From Today's Facebook status update world of the absurd, we get this little number, which takes us through the daily pissings of the young daughter, who for the last week or so has been fighting an ongoing battle of making it to the toilet in time. Today, like many of us, she apparently had brought her daily record to 2-2 until this little disaster happened. (and yes as adults, we must admit that there are nights where we wake up panicking and realizing that we only have a matter of seconds to make it to the bathroom before we too piss our pants.)

Anyway, even though, I am now keeping a weekly scorecard to in order to calculate Daughter Y's weekly average (she currently hitting around .667 for the week), I just hope that this does not move onto bigger and shall we say more "solid" coverage in the weeks to come.

And as always, I hope this ends up somewhere down the road in Daughter Y's baby book so she can be regailed with her loving mother's daily updates of her successes and failures in the great pee pants wars of 2009.

We talking about baseball... man... baseball..

2009-08-09T00:25:00.002-04:00

So Allen Iverson once groused about the fact that he was getting shit for not attending practice... it lead to a press conference where he went on for awhile about the ridiculousness of being condemned for not attending something that was in his mind meaningless (I could post the link but seriously have you seen it).... In my life, I consider the fact that the Red Sox cannot win a fucken baseball game to be on the level of Mr. Iverson's concerns about ridiculousness...

Here's the thing, the Sox have lost five straight and kind of look like they not only have never played baseball before but also like they are spending every post game staring down the bottle... I know they are the lovable losers (or is that the Mets, who apparently all have AIDS), but i mean jesus christ guys.. BUNT... seriously at this point, I just want to see you hit the ball....and get on base... My expectations are not big, but if I got the idea that anyone still gave a shit or was not resembling a meth clinic patient, then I would be more keen to the idea of following this team for the remainder of the season instead of worrying about this glass of wine in my hand will soon puncture my flat screen...

So Red Sox, just like practice, we talking about baseball man, baseball.... it's a game involving a bat and a ball where you try (and here is something astounding) to hit the fucken ball... so (mimicking ass slapping) get out there and figure that shiz out...

i beg of you.

WTF

2009-07-28T23:53:00.002-04:00

Kevin Federline

Shocks Fans Over New Size

My question here is not that he got fat cause clearly he somehow pulled two of his remaining three brain cells together to conceive the plan to marry Britney Spears, get her pregnant, and then divorce her in order to ensure that he had money to eat for the rest of his life. No that is not the question.. Instead the question is.. WHO ARE HIS FANS? I mean seriously, does he have a career? I mean what does he do? I know he tried to rap but I kind of figured that was a single album and then him and Vanilla Ice retired to Provincetown together. But hey apparently he has fans or atleast some cult that follows him around... and now they are shocked that the former dancer turned Mr. Spears turned pseudo failed rapper now spends his days munching on twinkies, wearing XXXL shirts, and playing golf... But hey we all have to have our causes.,..

So for shame Mr. Federline... you fat bastard.. for shame!

Twitter

2009-07-22T00:26:00.001-04:00

Here is how i roll.. (insert the name Dumb Ass in front of each so as to read Dumb Ass says....)

will now retire from running... http://bit.ly/iy5DO4:58 PM Jun 30th from web
is done with this week.4:00 PM Jun 30th from web
damn damn damn4:29 PM Jun 28th from web
2-1.. time to dig in.3:41 PM Jun 28th from web
LANDON DONOVAN FINALLY SHOWS UP IN AN INTERNATIONAL SOCCER MATCH!3:01 PM Jun 28th from web
grind him!2:52 PM Jun 28th from web
DEMPSEY DEFLECTS FOR A GOAL!!!2:44 PM Jun 28th from web
flush Kaka!2:13 PM Jun 28th from web
wonders if the second round of the nba draft should just be resolved by cage match style elimination2:46 PM Jun 26th from web
Don't Stop Til You Get Enough11:08 PM Jun 25th from web
this description of Hasheem Thabeet is dead on "the projected number two pick has about as much offense as Screech Powers on a first date."10:38 AM Jun 25th from web
Five Game Lead.11:52 AM Jun 24th from web
Midtown Rocks! http://bit.ly/du32o12:26 PM Jun 20th from web
likes his chances.. http://bit.ly/2bLojK11:47 PM Jun 18th from web
thinks the U.S. Open will be finished sometime next week.11:57 AM Jun 18th from web
just found out a new Jennifer Aniston Movie is being filmed outside his apartment tonight... where is my Angelina Jolie poster?9:46 PM Jun 17th from web
bite me Joe Buck: http://bit.ly/16HYG91:55 PM Jun 16th from web
became a fan of whipe out today. judge away!8:10 PM Jun 14th from web
is glad the sox got to use the broom... bring on the phillies...3:28 PM Jun 12th from web
has three days until the Brooklyn Half... and thinks that Stan Van Gundy is taking Mike Brown to coaching school.... (two topics one post)12:45 PM May 27th from web
porkchops or seagulls?4:50 PM May 1st from web
expects more out of Jon Lester10:47 AM Apr 9th from web
You are disgusting11:54 AM Mar 28th, 2007 from web

Is Bringing It Back To The Old School

2009-07-21T23:44:00.003-04:00

Cause I am an old fool that's so cool?

On a night where I find myself remembering the last year and wondering how it could possibly been a year since she passed, I have spent the night having a few beers and looking at ye old blog, which apparently started in 2005 probably during my sullen dark period or some esoteric shit that I used as an excuse to start a blog. Back then, I clearly thought that I had a lot to say as my pieces (of shit) tended to roll on for a page or two where I eventually made my point or I never really did. And I definitely did a lot more self analysis about where I wanted to go or where I was and how I could get out of there. The posts back then took several themes... excessive drinking.... running.... excessive drinking after running.. and how I hated my job... And no matter what the topic man they rambled!

And today, I would love to say that my writing has improved or I write things that more people read but in reality, my posts have turned into short and brazen critiques on people's facebook status updates or just quick hits about what actually goes on in here. Which I believe is a product of my and the rest of societies fixation on things like Twitter, gchat, and Facebook updates to keep our newly rekindled friendships abreast of our daily pissings...

But the fact of the matter is that I am still here and so is this site... and I guess on a night that will lead to day of reflection, I am glad that I took the time to keep writing over these past four years.... And sure that's a giant pat on the back, but nobody reads this thing anyway.

Still running with anger.

Rain Delay.

Today's Three Reasons Why I Love NYC

2009-07-08T11:57:00.002-04:00

On my commute today, I witnessed the following:

1. A hot girl with armpit hair on the L train.

2. Two police horses in a police carrying thing with the back end open so you could see how much the horses shit. Answer: ALOT

3. A guy trying to stuff an English Bulldog into a duffel bag in order to take it on the subway.

Thank you NYC!

How do I say this lightly!

2009-07-07T11:13:00.003-04:00

I hope this person dies....

Madame X: thats right baby...cowboy up!!

Person X completed the quiz "Which position are you?" with the result Cowgirl.

that's right.

You know, I know what this person looks like.... i now have a pretty clear picture of what she looks like during sex and I am also now sterile. There is too much information and then there is the kind of information that I should be able to sue this person over... I just wish i was a lawyer.

And as a final thought, you know there are times in my life where I wonder if Facebook has reached its limit in inducing daily sheer stupidity.

Thankfully, I am proven wrong on the daily.

Monday and Jesus Loves Facebook

2009-06-01T19:27:00.002-04:00

Madame X is so overwhelmed with love for her Savior today.

Weird cause I just talked to Jesus, which I do on the daily when I am taking a dump and he just wanted me to let you know that first off if you really think he wastes his time checking facebook to see who does or does not love him, then he really just doesn't want you to be part of the cult (err i mean) clan anymore... Seriously, he says he has a lot and he means alot of important shit to do and facebook is not one of them... Oh and he wanted me to let you know that you are going straight to hell.. cheers!

Cause Wednesday is Crazy Pants Day

2009-05-13T17:27:00.005-04:00

Mr. X says: Its offical as of today, I am divorced from the exwife who commited adultry. It is a GREAT day.

Well, I am glad that we got that cleared up. I mean nothing says too much information then declaring to the world that a) your divorce is final and b) that your ex wife (who probably most of your Facebook friends know) committed adultery... Kudos fella… Maybe we can get her to change her Facebook status so that she equally celebrates the finalized divorce with a little nugget about you beating her. Then, all parties will be able to participate in a new legal proceeding for libel because clearly, you guys have not had enough court time together.

(P.S. when posting such a celebratory declaration to the world, one should probably consider using this thing they have on all computers called spell check that way people will only read your status and think your asshole and not an stupid asshole.)

Unnecessary Facebook Status Update of the Day

2009-04-28T15:28:00.003-04:00

Person X is sad. The person I was supposed to donate my bone marrow to has died.

My thoughts:

Um, way to depress me. I am sorry but this is a complete misuse of a status update and probably a HIPAA violation. Way to ruin my day Person X, way to ruin my day.

More Facebook status madness

2009-04-24T17:03:00.002-04:00

Lady X says: someone please remind me why I had 3 kids in 4.5 yrs!!!!!!!

My answer:

Cause you were a giant whore in high school and apparently, you have continued in that role straight into adulthood...

Oh and here's another one:

Lady Y pretty much makes milk just on the one side now.

What the FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I mean sweet jesus that is disgusting. No one and I mean NO FUCKEN ONE wants to know about your ability or inability to make breast milk. And for that matter no one wants to suck on your boobs... not even your kids who I am happy to report can now read and are HORRIFIED that you posted about your breast milk making problem...

DISCRETION PEOPLE COME ON!

2009-04-04T12:36:00.002-04:00

Ever since I was little I have watched Saturday Night Live to the point where sunday afternoons in teh summer were spent watching the previous night's show at dinner with my family. AND for years, it has been my dream to go watch SNL (for lack of better word) live. I mean I have watched this show when it sucked, when it was mediocre, when it had Fallon, when it sucked so more, and now am basking in its current glory... BUT I have never got to go..

And then this conversation happened....

12:26 PM Greg: ew're going to see SNL tonight

me: u are?

FUCK YOU

Greg: yeah gfoign to sit in the writer's room

me: seriously

Greg: suck my dick now

me: i really hate u

u dont even like that show

neither of u do

12:27 PM Greg: i like it more than i don't

me: I have been committed since day one

this is bull shit

THE ONLY PERSON THAT DESERVES TO GO IS ME

GOD DAMN YOU

Greg: carl fengler is going

rap your brain around THTT

me: SERIOSULY

i am sick

i am canceling watching the game

go have fun

Greg: haha

me: watch the game with Fang

12:28 PM Fuck you

FUCK YOU

FUCK

YOU

Greg: i invited him to your place

that's cool right?

12:29 PM me: no

why wasnt i invited

when did bobby graduate

12:30 PM this is crap

total crap

12:31 PM Greg: you are taking it well...

me: its hrose shit

thats all

i am being honest

u want me to lie about it

Greg: didn't reqlize you'd be so jealous

12:32 PM me: how could u not

Greg: you can take my spot

me: ha

just let me stew

12:33 PM Greg: my balls are stew

me: ya

its ok

seth rogen

next week is Efron

then Timberlake

then Ferrell

12:34 PM u would have known that if u listened to the Bill HAder podcast that I listened to

cause thats what real fans do

oh wait right u just "get" to go to SNL

Greg: truth

me: look at me

I watch the show every once and awhile

12:35 PM DID YOU SUFFER AND BLEED WITH THEM

DID YOU!

And so once again, I am not going but my buddy Greg who is a casual fan at best is now going.... So to reiterate... FUCK YOU GREG!

Random Facebook Thought

2009-03-20T13:04:00.002-04:00

Since today is a day of Facebook fueled banter, I just had the following thought:

Fact: People set pictures of their kids as their profile pictures on Facebook.

Fact: People often alternate between children if they have more than one.

Query: If Shawn Kemp or Travis Henry have a Facebook page, what do they do?

My First Potty: Entry 2

2009-03-20T11:54:00.002-04:00

Person X just funded 8 seconds of peacekeeping in troubled regions! -- Play free games to Save the Planet!

So let me get this one straight. All we ever had to do in order to assist peacekeeping in troubled regions was to play a game on Facebook? Really?

Now you will have to excuse me while I put in a phone call to the United Nations, NATO, The Hague, and all the other international peacekeeping bodies out there and tell them to wrap it up... Facebook has got this one covered...

(Note: I am not sure the Hague is a peacekeeping body... but you get my drift.)

My First Potty

2009-03-20T09:52:00.005-04:00

As we all know, Facebook is a phenomena that has swept our nation. One cannot go a day without discussing the new format change, joining somebody's mob, or why the fuck people believe that lil' green patches are saving the rain forest.

I admit that I too have fallen victims to its powers and am regularly on the site updating my status (20 times a day) and checking up on people from my past. In fact, I am such a Facebook whore that my friends have recruited me to friend as many people as possible in order to keep tabs on all of our former classmates.

As a result of my duties, I have become obsessed with people's status updates and the lack of etiquette that many people exhibit when commenting on their daily life. For example, I do not think it is appropriate or safe for someone to let the world know that you are going on vacation for three weeks. (and I am guilty of this one as well)... Let's play this one out... what if a claimed friend who has been using the site to stalk you (read me) sees this update and decides that they are now going to go over to your place and rob you or use your house to film a porno??

Anyway, the updates that really get me are the ones that contain some ridiculous statement about what their child is doing.. I really don't fucken care... Moreover, I don't fucken care about breast feeding or how you're are tired of doing it.. Finally, I don't fucken care nor do I want you to comment on my facebook and tell me how you would love to run as much as I do but you decided to have 17 children... More power to you but don't use your worthless snot nose brats as the reason that you have become fat and lazy... It doesn't fly with me...

And so, I have decided that I will use this entry to compile all of the ridiculous status updates that I come across on a daily basis... So sit back, relax...and enjoy the douchebaggery:

Entry One-My kid and his shit fetish:

I can't believe it....but INSERT BABY NAME just pooped in the potty for the first time!!! All on his own and then he came to get me! I'm so HAPPY!! :).

Analysis: Ok this one is way too much information. More power to the kid for squeezing off his first number 2 in the Porcelain God. I am sure it's a tremendous source of pride for you, your family, and maybe even your closest of friends... But seriously, the rest of us do not care if he shit in the bowl, on the floor, or in your mouth... get over it.

Sorry immediately after I posted this I found out that someone had commented on the post and wrote the following:

Way to go- You're such a big boy to go poop on the potty! Good timing too, cause you did while your gramma is there. Maybe we should start calling her poopy gramma!

Um we do realize that the kid did not write this right? We know he cannot write? We also know that Gramma does not want to be called poopy gramma because of that whole incident in Thailand? The world has lost its proverbial mind.

One final thought since i had to analyze this issue further... Apparently, we have a prodigy on our hands.. Based on the comment above, one can only assume that the kid has the ability to read, write, and pose as his mother on Facebook. I am not sure what evil genius this child will grow up to be but I am putting my money on the fact that he will go by the moniker, The Poop Avenger.

Your Birthday

2009-03-15T23:00:00.002-04:00

Last night we celebrated your birthday but you were not there. Atleast that's what I thought when the night began... It felt weird to be at the old spot with my old seat and our old bartender serving me wine... I felt alone and was sad since I wanted you sitting there next to me. It was your birthday and you deserved to be there....

But then as the night went on...your friends and my friends filled the place with laughter and tears, I realized that you were there all along... sitting right next to me smiling with that smile and laughing with your laugh...And so instead of dreading your birthday, we CELEBRATED your birthday.

I love you.

The Simplest Things

2009-02-10T22:46:00.002-05:00

Life can get away from you if you let it. My life recently got pretty far away from me to the point that I was not sure if there was ever any going back. I lost focus, I lost love, I lost heart, I lost soul, and I lost purpose. I let myself be led to a very dark place.

And then, I got lucky. I was lucky because a series of events reminded me why I am still here, what my edge in life is, and what my focus is...

Man did I get lucky.

Maybe

2008-10-29T22:42:00.002-04:00

Maybe one day you make a goal. And maybe as time passes you are suddenly only days before that goal and you start to get scared and sad... because you know that you are on the doorstep of accomplishing that goal... and maybe that causes you to worry about the littlest things that may prevent you from accomplishing that goal.... AND THEN once you get over the scared, maybe you are sad... because no matter how many miles you run or how hard you try, she won't be there at the end to see you finish... she will still be gone... taken way too soon... you will still go to bed alone at night.... and you will still struggle to figure out why...

And maybe the you is me.

Random Anecdote

2008-10-23T15:18:00.003-04:00

So my friend was telling me today about her experience at the DMV this morning. In a demonstration of how my mind works, the following story came to mind from my freshman year of college

In the fall of my first semester of college, I went to see Weezer at the Roseland Ballroom in New York City. The show was amazing, but afterwards my buddies and I decided it would be fun to get into some New York City style trouble.

As a result, immediately after the show, we went to a 25 cent peep show place in the Times Square area. In 1996, these places still existed as it was the era right before the 25 cent peeps were eliminated entirely and Disney took over the entire area.

The place was your standard dirty mess of a store with an adult video store on the first floor and booths for viewing on the second. After climbing the stairs to the viewing area, I put my quarter in, up went the screen, and I came face to face with this giant naked black woman. Shocked and speechless, I continued to stare without a word coming from my mouth. Then, in attempt to not look this woman in the eye or at her any longer, I began to let my eyes take in all that was the peep show viewing room. (a colossal mistake) At which point, I noticed over her shoulder another larger naked black woman sitting on a stool in the corner behind eating Chinese food. Clearly, she was on a break, and clearly, she was hungry.

Fortunately or unfortunately since there were no safe places to look in the viewing area, my eyes were not able to linger as the woman in front of me said in a loud BOOMING, "Well what you want me to do for you..."

As I cringed and stepped away from the screen, she then took stock of the young fresh face standing in front of her noticing that I had a shaved head. Apparently, my haircut set off some kind of alarm in her mind because she soon followed her initial inquiry with "What's wrong with you, you some kind of racist... you a skinhead?"

Once again, unable to speak, I slunk further back towards the door… praying that the screen would soon close. Mercifully, the screen closed a few short seconds later… and i ran down the stairs and out the front door where my friends were on the sidewalk with equally terrified faces…

And so that is exactly how I imagine my friends trip to the DMV went this morning… shocked silence… a face filled with terror… an immediate and expedient exit when she was done with her business…and possible a little nudity...

My Continuing Legal Education

2008-09-16T23:09:00.003-04:00

I attended a continuing legal education course this evening. Attendance at these courses is required in order to remain an attorney in good standing in the State of New York.... As a result, these classes tend to be less about actual learning and instead, really serve as a three hour block of time for my fellow attorneys to figure out a way to appear interested in the lecture being given...

As such, the majority of attendies spend their time in a frenetic email orgy on their black berries, which they sometimes coyly hide in their laps while others simply do not give a fuck and keep them in plain sight. Or some like the gentleman I saw this evening have two blackberries and two cell phones sitting in front of them during the lecture... i can only imagine by the end of the three hour session, he was in full messaging lather unable to discern between the real world and the world at his finger tips...

Meanwhile, other attendees do listen. However, these individuals are not really there to learn and instead spend their time trying to fomulate the most convoluted "gotcha" style question in order to prove that they are mentally superior to the panel giving the lecture. This type of attendee acts in this manner because they are simply reliving their law school years where they spent their time sitting in the front of the class engaging the professor in hours of non-sensical legal discussion about whether or not a binding contract is created when a party to said contract after saying the word "accept" was immediately run over by a pack of wild dogs and killed... Meanwhile, the rest of us (myself included) sat in the back of the class hoping that either the professor or this piece of shit would have an anorysm or simply pass out from talking too much. I also wanted to drive a pencil through both of their skulls...

And the third group of attendees kind of listens to the lecture... kind of doodles... maybe checks the baseball score.. thinks about dinner... maybe a beer.. writes... stares off in space... sleeps.. or basically watches the clock like we are in detention on a friday afternoon.

Not sure exactly what the NY Bar is hoping to achieve by all of this but I am pretty sure its not working.

Thankfully, this evening was relatively painless since the extensive question cocksmokery was kept to a minimum this evening, and I was able to sit quietly and write this entry while everyone else around me tapped away on their blackberries creating an impromptu legal drum circle... and, they served light refreshments.

Training

2008-09-15T23:14:00.003-04:00

So as I wrote a long time ago, I am running the NYC marathon this november 2nd and with the recent events in my life, my finishing this marathon is going to happen even if I have to crawl across the entire sucker...

Thankfully that does not appear to be necessary since even though my right knee has continuously reminded me that it doesn't like to run marathons anymore, so far the training has been going ok. I finished a 15 miler two weeks ago and have my sights set on an 18 miler this weekend. I am definitely not as fast as I used to be but I think thats just what happens when you are a 30 year old runner who has run since he was 4 years old. (Yeah my parents used to race me Kentucky Derby style, i wonder if they ever made side bets?)

And so, I have a little less than two months before the big day and I feel like with my added motivation of keeping my promise, this marathon doesn't stand a chance. Plus, it's New York City the craziest marathon in the world.

So i will keep you posted on my training in the next couple of months... but i am locked and ready to kick some ass...

Politics

2008-09-14T22:17:00.003-04:00

From my liberal perspective, I like many others have considered the last 8 years to be a total failure in terms of our current president. Yes, he dealt with 9/11 and yes, it was time to act on terrorism... but what he forgot was that he led a country that needed him. A country who was falling apart internally while he attempted to protect us through wars in an area of the world that was simply waiting for us to declare war so that they could justify their next 1000 terrorist actions.

And so now as we are on the precipous of the most important election of my lifetime, my friends find it necessary to discuss with me on a daily basis who will win this election, how they cannot believe McCain has supporters, and how crazy it is that he may be the next President.

How did they all just forget about the last 8 years? I mean seriously we just let a clown run our country for four years and then, when we knew he was a fucken disaster, we re-elected his sorry ass. (Yes, I know that the Dem's candidates were weak but still, they also had a pulse right?)

So how it is a surprise that a man that is 2-3 years pre-death and who has changed most of his principles in order to get in favor with the Republican Party i.e. the party of the douchebag running this shit show, is now neck and neck with the Democratic candidate?

It's not.. that's the point. We live in a country of forgivers and believers (in Jesus).

And that is why I cannot deal with my friends that keep bringing up the current race and react on a daily basis like the apocalypse is upon us. (We are already living in the era of the death of the US)...Especially since in New York City, this conversation/debate is completely futile because frankly, my friends and I are not deciding this election because our votes don't matter. New York City and the State of New York are not going to decide this sucker...

Therefore, I cannot deal with their daily attacks of shock and awe. Instead, I think the best policy and the only policy we can have as meaningless contributors to the Electoral College is to hope for the best and hope that history does not repeat itself. Of course, I also hope for the best when in terms of winning the lottery or actually making a career out of the words I write on this blog so sadly, I think that I like the Democratic Party may be screwed.... but then again, stranger things have happened....

So go out in vote this november for the candidate that won't continue the last 8 years... And if that doesn't happen, let's all just get a compound in Canada... although we probably cannot afford it since the dollar sucks.... thank you Mr. President.

Unleash the Beast

2008-09-14T21:52:00.003-04:00

Life is not fair... and even though, we may think that tragedy will never touch us personally, inevitably, it will.

For me, tragedy and the unfairness of life struck me on July 22, 2008 when the love of my life passed away after a heroic battle with cancer. Long ago, I wrote about a friend being sick and that I could not wait till that friend kicked the bug and won... At the time, I did not want to make to specific since I knew the the people that needed to know, knew and the randoms who stumble on this site, did not need to... Sadly, unfairly, and tragically, we lost that battle. A person who loved me unconditionally (which if you read this mother fucker seems to be near impossible) and who I just wanted to hold at the end of each day is now gone...

SMK-- you are my heart, my soul, my existence and I will make you proud..

and I am left to to figure out what happens next...

And so here is what happens next... this space... this time... these words become my attack on the world.. life and everything that I endure on a daily basis... the struggle all of us face is to live life as best we can.. because I refuse to forget her and not live my life as best as I can...

So consider this notice as once again, I begin again...

Little Six Never Hurt No One

2008-07-01T23:56:00.002-04:00

Except me. Not going to lie causeI kinda feel like I just got run over by a car. I went for six today to kick off the NY Marathon training to the track in Central Park, which is located up on the West Side in the Park. Anyway, on the map I used to find it, there was a notation "the hill" or "the big hill" but really it should have been labeled, "your run is over motha fucka hill" because once I got up it, I was lead legged for the remainder of the run. Lots of weezing soon ensued...

So as I sit here with a couple of ice bags on my knees and shins, I would say that the training has officially started with a swift kick in the ass and a reminder that this is going to be a long hellish road.

Got to just keep fighting...

Minivan Factory

2008-06-30T23:08:00.002-04:00

I understand that this story is sad because people are losing their jobs and that can make things unbelievably tough... BUT.. maybe Chrysler has to cut all these jobs because they still had a factory dedicated to minivans... Now, I remember a time back in the 80's and possibly early 90's went my parents used to roll up in a powder blue Voyager... but that's over a decade ago... Look out the fucken window..

From Yahoo:

Chrysler to close 1 plant, cut production at 2nd

By TOM KRISHER, AP Auto WriterMon Jun 30, 7:30 PM ET

The worsening U.S. auto sales slump hit Chrysler LLC again Monday as it announced plans to close one St. Louis-area factory and cut a shift from another because of declining demand for minivans and pickups.
Officials with the Auburn Hills-based automaker said in a conference call that it will shutter the St. Louis South plant, which makes minivans, effective Oct. 31. The St. Louis North plant, which makes full-size pickups, will be cut from two shifts to one effective Sept. 2.
The minivan plant's closure will cut 1,500 jobs, and it wasn't clear if the company would ever recall the 900 workers who will be laid off at the pickup truck plant. Both factories are in Fenton, a St. Louis suburb.
Chrysler President and Vice Chairman Tom LaSorda said the company has no plans to reopen the minivan plant. He said there's only enough minivan demand for three shifts, which the company already has running at its factory in Windsor, Ontario.
"We have too much capacity," he said, adding that the company had to reduce its factory capacity to remove fixed costs. "Those are the tough decisions we have to make, but that's the decision we did make."
LaSorda also denied rumors that Chrysler's owner, Cerberus Capital Management LP, planned to sell the company in pieces.
"Hogwash, absolutely not being considered at all," he said. "Absolutely no relevance. I don't even want to entertain those questions."
He would not say if workers at the pickup truck plant could be recalled, adding that the company never announces whether a shift cut is permanent "because that is something we cannot foresee."
The company will hold meetings with affected workers to review severance programs, LaSorda said.
LaSorda blamed the moves on a slowing economy, high gasoline prices and a shift in consumer demand from larger vehicles to smaller, more fuel-efficient ones.
He said the private company is meeting or exceeding its financial targets but "this environment is forcing us to make some very difficult decisions."
Vice Chairman and President Jim Press said despite the cuts, Chrysler remains bullish on the minivan and pickups. He said there's a market for people who need pickups for work, and that minivans are fuel-efficient alternatives to big sport utility vehicles.
"We have to better align the volume with our inventories," he said.
He would not rule out further cuts in pickup production, depending on market demand.
"We're assessing this as the industry continues to move," he said, adding that he's hopeful the new 2009 Ram pickup will sell well. "The thing that keeps these places running is what happens at retail and what happens in the marketplace. Things are shifting, but people still need trucks."
Also Monday, Press said June sales continued the downward trend from May, with a continued shift from trucks to cars. Automakers announce June sales on Tuesday. He also said Chrysler is making progress in shrinking its model lineup, but he would not say when that would be complete.
Monday's announcement comes after Chrysler lengthened summer shutdowns at several plants.
The company said in a memo sent to workers Wednesday that it would close the Toledo North Assembly Plant in Ohio for seven weeks from July 7 through the week of Aug. 18 due to sagging sales. The plant makes the Jeep Liberty and Dodge Nitro midsize SUVs.
The Newark, Del., Assembly Plant, which makes the Dodge Durango and Chrysler Aspen SUVs, was closed starting Monday for five weeks, with workers scheduled to return Aug. 4, and the Warren, Mich., truck plant, which makes the Dodge Ram pickup, will shut down for five weeks this summer, according to union officials.
Most auto factories are idled for only one or two weeks during the summer as the company shifts from one model year to the next.
Chrysler's U.S. sales were down 25 percent in May, a month in which the whole market dropped 11 percent when compared with May 2007. Through the first five months of the year, Chrysler's sales were off 19 percent, with huge drops in larger vehicles that make up most of its lineup.
Ram pickup sales were down almost 27 percent when compared with the first five months of 2007. Sales of the Dodge Caravan minivan were down almost 35 percent through May, while sales were off just over 13 percent for the Chrysler Town & Country minivan.
LaSorda said the company is still meeting or exceeding all of its internal financial goals, and that it had cut production last year in anticipation of a U.S. market slowdown.
"It's important that we act now to better align ourselves with the current market reality," he said.
General Motors Corp. and Ford Motor Co. already have announced cuts due to the latest market downturn. Chrysler announced cuts in November, but analysts have said the company needs to do more.
___

So it begins again

2008-06-30T22:34:00.002-04:00

No not my latest excuse for why I have not been writing... (See traveling back and forth to Cleveland, long nights at the office, and general laziness)

But actually the start of another marathon training session. I got into the New York City Marathon, which behind Boston is the only marathon I ever really wanted to run. So here I go again, back to an 18 week plan with the hopes of not damaging or injuring further my right knee... so far I have started a slow build and think i am all set to do the first run tomorrow.

We will see... as usual I will probably commit to the marathon like this blog...

Properly serviced...

2008-05-03T12:40:00.003-04:00

On my flight to Cleveland this morning, the flight attendant while preparing us for our initial descent into the local Cleveland area, got on the mic to thank us all for flying Continental Airlines and added that it was her pleasure "servicing us" this morning.

Unfortunately, this was the 630 AM flight from New York City to Cleveland so most of the rest of the passengers were sleeping and it appears that I was the only one that caught this slip. Or maybe I just missed out on something because I certainly was not serviced this morning... which is probably a good thing since my girlfriend and her mother were sitting next to me on the flight.

The whole situation would have just been really uncomfortable... but for those of you flying keep your eye out for the Continental Airlines flight crew out of Houston....because they may or may not service you...

Two times a day

2008-02-09T01:57:00.000-05:00

Well it's now twice during this glorious day... I went for a quick 4.5 after work while ingesting 1200 mg of ibuprofen to take care of my apparent knee injury. Not the best or medically approved course of treatment but i think that if i keep this extreme course of treatment to once a week, I may actually be able to run this marathon. (Current, ache is a right knee pain that is apparently runners knee.) So thats what's new in the running world..

In other news, I commented on a new mother's blog tonight i.e. the blogshe created to track her kid's life...which in a weird adult way seems like a perfect way to do this.... yeah I usually have a fucked up comment here about how everyone who has kids sucks or why not go buy a journal... but the dad in me says that kids and people who have them don't suck and everytime i buy a journal i end up blogging so good for her...

and on that note... its 205 and i am hitting the pillow.

If a Person Blogs In the Forrest....

2008-02-08T14:41:00.000-05:00

Does anyone notice? Not really sure why I came back here today, but I figured I would just drop a line to say hello. I want to believe that my absence is due to the long hangover that I suffered after the Sox won the World Series and that just like a baseball team, this blog takes from the beginning of November to February off.. anyway, i figured this was a good time to chime in since I have just started to train for my next marathon may 4th in NJ and so there may be stuff to write about. Only time and my insatiable need to blog while drinking, will make that come true...

Unfortunately for now, I must go back to the law and my real job as my boss' show pony... I just wish he wore a saddle when he rode me... chaps with an ass... and no spurs.... is that too much to ask...

RUMOR HAS IT

2007-10-16T17:09:00.000-04:00

An emergency meeting of the Brotherhood of the Tallboy is being convened this evening in order to ensure that the Red Sox win tonight. The Brotherhood of the Tallboy was allegedly created in 2004 during the Red Sox run through the ALCS and then through the World Series.
Some would say that it was this Brotherhood alone that snapped the 86 years without a World Series title although that link has never been directly proven. While many of the Brotherhood's traditions and rituals are secretive, it is known that in order to be part of the Brotherhood of the Tallboy, a member must be sitting on a certain couch located at 398 Graham Avenue, Brooklyn, NY, eating sushi from a local bodega, and drinking Budweiser Tallboys.

While it is impossible to confirm, it appears that this is the first meeting of the Brotherhood since the spring of 2007 when purported member, Andrew Prior, was overheard pronouncing the season was over after an inning against the Orioles that featured JD Drew, Julio Lugo, and Coco Crisp, striking out in quick succession.

The Brotherhood's powers are strong ,and a force to be reckoned with.

Be afraid Indians fans… being very afraid.

Joba's a fraud...

2007-10-04T09:42:00.000-04:00

Straight from his own mouth, we learn that Joba Chamberlain, Yankees new wonder anus, stole his nickname from his cousin... Yeah that's right, his real name is Justin... And here is his explanation on how he got the nickname:

"Going back to the reservation when I was four, my cousin couldn't say my other cousin's name-- it was Joshua-- and she couldn't say it. It sounded like Joba (when she said it) and it stuck ever since."

Wait so let me get this straight, your cousin could not pronounce her own brother's name and thus she called HIM Joba... and yet now, they call you JOBA???? WAAAAAAAAA.....

Excuse me I have to go and map this one out....

Another Day in the Life of Isiah

2007-10-02T12:47:00.000-04:00

In addition to tainting the legendary Knicks organization through his never ending spending, his questionable player moves, and his general lack of basketball management skills, Isiah Thomas was found liable today of sexual harassment. For those of you who have not followed this trial, Bill Simmons provides a pretty good recap here… And for those of you who want to know what level of intelligence, we are dealing with, with Isiah, I think the following quote pretty much sums it up, "I'm innocent, very innocent, and I did not do the things she has accused me in this courtroom of doing," Thomas said. "I'm extremely disappointed that the jury did not see the facts in this case. I will appeal this, and I remain confident in the man that I am and what I stand for and the family that I have." Hey Isiah, you’re innocent or you’re not… the use of “very” in this context is meaningless. It’s a black and white issue… And not a black versus white issue, like you tried to create in your deposition when you claimed it was appropriate for a black man to call a black woman a bitch but not appropriate for a white man to call a black woman a bitch… The difference here since you apparently need to have this sounded out for you is that my use of the phrase "black and white issue" in this context makes sense, whereas your little creation is rooted in racism, and is indicative of why the jury just found your ass liable.

As an addendum

2007-09-26T11:08:00.000-04:00

My flight got canceled.

Just as an update

2007-09-21T18:54:00.000-04:00

I am currently listening to Senor Confidence singing a song that I hope he has entitled GO FUCK MYSELF, I HAVE A MUSTACHE and a dude, who just ordered a Caesar's salad cause he had two pizzas at lunch and who just informed his co-worker or lady or bitch on the side that the boat named after his mother was part of a whole fleet of boats that his family owned and named after each other.

BLOW ME!!

Confidence

2007-09-21T18:41:00.000-04:00

So here I sit at an LGA bar (that's La Guardia and not the Lesbian, Gay Association from your college (Note: NO ONE FROM COLLEGE READS THIS)) on the way to Cleveland drinking a nice Sam Adam's Octoberfest (Rocktober fest if I am feeling feisty and queer)... Anyway, figured this was the appropriate forum to note Mr. Confidence who just sat down two bar stools from me.. Now Mr. Confidence is currently rocking a golf shirt, the glasses on the face, sunglasses on the head, and mustache presentation... As if to further endorse his current outward persona, he walked up to the bar whistling the theme to what might have been the Andy Griffith show, but probably was just his mashup/remix version of it... and then ordered some buffalo wings and an Amstel Light... I may ask him to marry me very soon...

Cheers till we write again.

Silence broken

2007-09-12T14:47:00.000-04:00

Sometimes you need to go away for a little while and focus on other stuff before you can come back with vengeance. So I spent the summer on a sabbatical focusing on my job and my life. But now, as summer has ended, and the cool breeze of Fall is in the air, I find myself back and ready to go.

And as a bonus to my summer of focus, I was able to shed a mean 15 lbs of my fatness and get myself into some kind of shape to be able to do some of that running that is contained in this blog’s name.

So let’s begin again my friends… The Running Anger has returned!!!

Home is where my bed is

2007-05-20T23:43:00.000-04:00

Yeah, we are home.. tired and beaten from 14 hour driving day that featured an hour long deadstop, car turned off traffic jam somewhere in Pennsylvania, we pulled into town around 11:15 PM. Great weekend as fun times were had by all. As for now, I am off to bed.. More with the daily journal posting and some final thoughts on the trip overall in the next couple of days...

Before that, here is one final picture of the park in downtown Greenville.

(Yeah it's pretty fancy.)

Costner

2007-05-20T01:06:00.000-04:00

Day 2 in Greenville turned into the greatest night ever. Not only did we spend the day eating wings and drinking beers at Wild Wings, got to see the Drive win again, and AND IT'S A BIG AND got to see Kevin Costner and his band play. Even better, he dropped the F-bomb as soon as we got there, which if you ever come down South you will realize is kind of a big deal since no one seems to swear or curse or cuss or whatever it's fucken called. The Cos, as we started to refer to him as when we found out he was playing tonight also concluded his set by saying "Good Night" and then telling us all that he would "see us at the movies." Really Kev? Cause from what I recall your movies suck the life out of me along with my will to live. And just so you can all suffer along with me, here is the Cos and his band...

Greenville Drive WIN!!!

2007-05-19T11:36:00.000-04:00

Even though the Big League Squad was rained out last night, the Sox still managed to gain a half game in the standings to now lead the Yankees by ten games. And while there was no baseball in Boston, the Greenville Drive put on an offensive barrage last night at West End Field winning with a final score of 12-5 or atleast that is what I remember the score to be. A good time was had by all as the Diz, Bob Jingle, and I consumed many beers and ballpark food in addition to getting to see victory by the hometown team. All of which was capped off with a little fireworks display to thank the fans..

The homage to the Green Monster at Fenway Park at the Greenville Drive's West End Field.

Not sure if they call this the Pesky Pole, but they should... nobody messes with Johny Pesky!!!

And finally , Gabe Kapler, the Hebrew Hammer and Drive Manager, exchanged his lineup card for that evening's game. Along with the lineup card, Kaler also gave his opposing manager some tips on body building and where to purchase the finest steroids in the local Greenville area.

Open Roads and Firework Heaven

2007-05-18T16:43:00.000-04:00

Well, we have successfully rolled into town around 3:51 this afternoon. I am happy to report that the weather is beautiful, and it appears that we have dodged all the crappy weather in the Northeast currently. Not much to report as most of the actual events from the road will be covered in the official Roadtrip Diary that I will post when we get back to old sweet Brooklyn, but on our way to Greenville, we did find a very interesting fireworks facility. (Note: I think that "facility" is the only word that best encapsulate the size of that place.)

And as you can see, the Shelton Discount Fireworks Store is apparently, the "World's Largest Fireworks Store" where apparently you can buy any type of firework your little heart desires.

I mean seriously there are just aisles and aisles of short range explosives in this place..

With stacks and stacks of fireworks creeping up the walls along with bins and bins filled with ground fireworks like these fake grenades...

And finally for the younger crowd, this cute little Pink Elephant explosive... nothing says amazing display of fire and colors like a cute little pink elephant... And what a better way to start the kids down the road to future firework domination than with an appealing cartoon character.

Anyway, I guess even though alot of Americans especially in this neck of the woods are constantly touting the need to be vigilant against terrorism, we still find it just fine to house tons and tons of explosives that if combined might possibly create an even bigger explosive... I mean I understand the need to support the personal right to have firearms (i guess this what this firework obsession is derived from) but even this is a little excessive and just seems to provide too easy of access to potentially the wrong people i.e. drunken white males fresh off a day of moonshine and hillbilly heroine...

On that note... off to see the Greenville Drive.. GO SINGLE A BASEBALL!!!

One Stage Down

2007-05-18T08:11:00.000-04:00

So thankfully, we pulled into Harrisonburg Virginia last night around 1:30 AM. As such, we are at the halfway to our destination as I sit here on the cardboard thin bed at the Super 8. Most of our travel has been smooth as it appears that we were able to avoid most of the traffic that we hit last year heading to Virginia Beach by heading further west on I-78 West to I-81 South. Unfortunately, we still have six hundred miles further south to drive. Fortunately, I don't drive so I can just sit in the back of Tina (the name of Volvo 2.0) and just take in the sights and sounds that are the dirty South. I wish I had more funny stuff to put down here but since I am mildly fighting off some crazy dehydration headache, I am going to leave you only with the bell that we rang after having excellent service at an Arby's in Pennsylvania. Of course, there was no service in the world that could save us when a half an hour after eating Arby's we all were wondering why the next rest area was sixty miles away. DING DONG!!!

More from Greenville, SC later today...

A Preamble to the Greatest Roadtrip of All Time

2007-05-17T12:19:00.000-04:00

A long time ago, one of my friends was quoted as saying that he wanted to "start a movement." Of course, the flaw in that statement and underlying logic is that for the most part movements are not started instead they kind of just happen without people ever noticing that they are actually occurring until years later when historians label that thing that happened, "a movement." My point here is that I have essentially done the same thing by labeling the roadtrip that myself, Bob Jingle, Dirty Diz, ET, and the Faithful SteedVersion 2.0 are about to depart on as "The Greatest Roadtrip of All Time." (Last year's description of the cast of characters can be found here.) Most likely, this roadtrip won't be "The Greatest Roadtrip of All Time" and will be similar to most roadtrips that I have ever been with a grade around a solid B+. But maybe someday, historians will read the adventures that I write about here on this little page and one day determine that in fact our little sojourn to the land of Greenville, South Carolina was actually "The Greatest Roadtrip of All Time."

Until that time, the show starts at 6 PM this evening from 398 Graham Avenue... I will talk to you from the road...

Julian Tavarez

2007-05-17T11:24:00.000-04:00

The following is a poem to one of the weirder characters on the Red Sox that I thought of this morning while lying in bed. So without further ado, here is my ode to ol Leather Face.

Julian Tavarez

by Rain Delay

Sometimes he throws high,

Sometimes he throws low.

Sometimes he throws fast.

Sometimes he throws slow.

He is not the best.

And he is not the worst.

Of course none of that matters

Cause the Sawx are in first.

Jury Duty

2007-05-14T15:38:00.000-04:00

Jury duty and jury service is often viewed as a giant inconvenience, pain in the ass, and waste of time by people, who are unfortunate enough to receive that little notification in the mail. I mean who really wants to sit there and listen to a bunch of lawyers yammer on about how important their case is, how seriously the parties take the matter, and how they need the jurors to resolve this dispute since the parties cannot do it on their own... (Read: Someone is holding back on the money to see how far they can push it before someone blinks and just settles the damn thing.)

And as someone that selects juries on a fairly regular basis, I would love to sell you on how important jurors are to the process, how the service is invaluable, blah blah blah... but truly, most trials settle and the likelihood of the lawyers ever needing the jury to make a decision is slim to none cause nobody wants to place the fate of their client's monetary future at the whim of six people who were dumb enough to not talk themselves off the jury in the first place. That's right folks, the only people who get selected to a jury are the ones who are just dumb enough to get picked or even worse, are the people who really want to serve on a jury i.e. crazy people, old people, and those individuals with full frontal lobotomy's. I mean shit this site about how to get out of jury duty was the first link that came up when I googled the phrase, "jury duty."

But with all of that being said, the last couple of trials have allowed me to realize the unintentional comedy or possibly genius intentional comedy that is being showcased by potential jurors on a daily basis. I mean in the last two weeks, I had two upstanding young gentlemen, who decided that in preparation for their jury service, they would wear the finest t-shirts in their respective bureaus with Gentleman # 1 wearing the I LOVE HOT MOMS t-shirt displayed below and Gentleman # 2 wearing a shirt that stated, "Your Name Must Be Summer Cause You Look So HOT!"

Accompanying his fine t-shirt, Gentleman #1 listed on the Juror Questionnaire that his hobbies including Drinking, Shoot Hoops, Dancing, and Tanning. While Gentleman #2 had decided that the t-shirt alone was not enough to fully portray his true style so he coupled this shirt with the old school pants sag with visible boxer short accompaniment. And as a final cherry on top of his overall image, Gentleman #1 informed myself and plaintiff's counsel that the female attorney representing a co-defendant selecting the jury with us needed to stop flirting with him during her questioning. (For the record, she had not said word one at the time he made this accusation.)

And while it may seem that I am knockin these guys, I really wanted to thank them for being candid about their thoughts on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I mean with outfits like those, there really was no need to dig any further to figure out what type of juror they could potentially be, how seriously they would take the process if selected, or whose boobs and ass they would be staring at the entire trial. And actually that made my job a hell of a lot easier when making decisions on who to select for the jury because as I stated, the only people who get picked are the people dumb enough not to get off. (read into that what you will.)

And since, I have nothing else to add to this topic and need to get home to take care of some shiz.. i will leave it at that.... and with the following words of advice:

If all else fails and it looks like you are going to get picked for a jury... just punch the person to your immediate right in the face as hard as you can... 60% of the time, it works everytime.

I Just Want To Celebrate...

2007-05-14T14:42:00.000-04:00

Another day of livin!!!

Actually, I just want to celebrate the fact that I will be able to go on Roadtrip 2007, which is not something I could say with any confidence last Friday. Without boring you with the details, I found out a couple of weeks ago that I got the position at Six Flags to be Yosemite Sam for the summer. As a result, I am leaving my current job at the Blah Department and heading to the greener pastures of the private sector where I will get to learn new things and acquire a little more coinage than my current position. This all goes down on June 1st so since my current job does not like it when people move on, they are currently attempting to stick it to me anyway that they can, which was why last Friday, I could not settle the matter that I was trying. (mainly because my boss would not give me the money to make it all go away.) And since other shit in the case hit the fan last Friday, the schedule for the trial had worked out in a way that I would not have been able to get this coming Friday off. And so with a heavy heart, I prepared this weekend for battle... knowing that the Roadtrip 2007 would either be a 2 man job with Dirty D and Jingle or not go forward at all...

And then this AM, I bluffed the plaintiff's counsel into settling by basically throwing out the remainder of the money that I had authority for and then him countering with a number that was one hundred thousand dollars less than he previous demand and only twenty five thousand more than the number i offered. (read that sentence again slowly.. then smoke a joint... reread again....then read it backwards... and finally forget everything you just read) Point being, the case is over... and I am a free man...

So here is the plan as I see it for this year's roadtrip, we leave thursday night and then have two baseball games, one Friday and one Saturday... then its a long road home on Sunday... I plan on bringing the laptop and doing live updates from the road so check back early and often.. and I will try to update the Running Anger with as much content as I can...

Keep hope alive...

45 Year Old Virgin

2007-05-07T19:56:00.000-04:00

Actually, it's really a 44 year old pitcher that the Yanks signed yesterday as Roger Clemens has once again come out of retirement (for the third time?) to rejoin the Yankees for the mere sum of 18 million pro-rated dollars. Of course for the Yankees, doling out the cash was a no brainer as they have been hit with injuries (Pavano, Mussina, Wang, Hughes, etc. etc.) and failure (Igawa, the middle relief core, and at times, old Fruit Bat himself, Mariano Rivera). So the Yanks did what they had to and outbid both the Red Sox and the Astros to get Clemens, who will turn 45 in August. Too bad, he has been limited to on average six innings of pitching the last couple of years, which means that the already overused, overextended, and overrated middle relief core should have their collective arms fall off by sometime right after the All-Star break in early July.

Of course, it wasn't just enough for the Yankees to sign baseball's most infamous mercenary, who has now jilted the Red Sox, the Blue Jays, the Yankees, and the Astros, instead the Yankees announced the signing in only the classiest and most tactful way that the most successful team in the history of baseball could by letting him hold his own press conference over the public address system during the seventh inning stretch of yesterday's game against the Mariners. That's right a team that prides themselves in being THE FRANCHISE OF CLASS in baseball decided that it was ok to make announcements about player signings by the player, himself, during an actual game.

What is this the WWE? I half expected Clemens to make his way from the owner's box down onto the field in order to hit the Seattle pitcher in the back with a steel chair with Steinbrenner then proceeding to drop an elbow on the fallen pitcher's limp corpse. Isn't such an announcement against the unwritten rules of baseball? And if so, why didn't the Mariners retaliate?

Thankfully even though the announcement was inappropriate, atleast the Yankees announcers i.e. Suzyn Waldman (the woman wearing the mask below),

reacted in a calm and professional manner or possibly, the announcers did the exact opposite apparently crapping, jizzing, and pissing themselves upon hearing the news. Words cannot even describe what exactly transpired on the air so I will just let you my readers listen to it here. While listening to it just remember these are professional announcers who are supposed to bring some level of (for a lack of a better word) professionalism to their broadcasts. Of course, these are the classy Yankees so it must just be part of the aura that is Yankees baseball that I will never understand as a lowly Red Sox fan.

And since yesterday was a giant momentum shift, it was nice to see that today, Joe Torre was suspended for one game, Scott Proctor was suspended for four games, and Igawa was sent to the minors.

Stay Classy San Diego!!!

A Preview

2007-05-05T14:44:00.000-04:00

A couple of weeks from now, me and the gang are heading on our annual roadtrip. As some of you may remember, last year's extravaganza featured a little trip down south to the wonder of Virginia Beach, which featured a night out on the town, a day on the beach, and a lot of driving. (Oh and a quick stop at the B and L Falvey complex near DC.) This year we have switched our focus further South to the town of Greenville, South Carolina, home of the Single A affiliate of the Boston Red Sox. Clearly, I am a Red Sox fan so a trip to a place like that is not completely out of the realm of possibility, but this trip is even more likely since the Greenville Drive play in a ballpark that is a replica of Fenway Park. So since we cannot get into the real Fenway, why not drive 16 hours to the next best thing. In the end, it really is just a good excuse to go on a roadtrip with the boys... AND of course like last year, it will all be logged and posted here so consider this your two week notice. (And the beginning of my new shameless self promotion campaign.)

Nerf Dunks

2007-05-05T14:36:00.000-04:00

Bill Simmons posted this on his blog, which can be found here. I can relate to this little jam session as back in the homestead in CT, I used to rock the slam dunk and three point nerf contests in my living room. Of course, I never did anything close to these dunks...

Enjoy.

Slam Dunk A Thon #1

Slam Dunk A Thon #2

Old News

2007-05-05T14:21:00.000-04:00

Paris Hilton got sentenced yesterday to 45 days in jail, and with one unbelievably life changing moment, I now believe in the Jesus again. I mean this has to be the best news ever. How does someone that can afford a driver get:

A. Their license suspended; and then,

B. Oops, drives with a suspended license?

Honestly?

Obviously, I understand that Ms. Hilton is not exactly Ivy League but still doesn't she have handlers? I mean weren't they the background noise in her movie, One Night in Paris?

Anyway, I never supported the McCarthy Era Witch Hunts of the supposed commies in the US during the 40's and 50's (mainly cause I was not born), but I would whole heartedly support a roundup of all the meaningless worthless celebrities. I hope this is a jumping off point. Further, is there a petition I can sign? Or maybe, I will just ask you all to post to see if you support this movement... (I am going to be so disappointed when no one responds.)

Afternoon Television

2007-04-27T14:55:00.000-04:00

Today, I am home from work as I had a callback interview this AM for my job at Six Flags. Things are looking good, and I should know if I am going to be either Tweetie Bird or Yosemite Sam for the summer on Monday. Anyway, since I am not at work, I have been spending my afternoon surfing the web, and watching afternoon television. And as you would expect there is NOTHING on during the afternoon, I mean even On Demand is not working properly.

As a result, I have been in an endless channel flip since about 1:30, which led me to stumble on the MSNBC covering live a low speed chase through the streets of East LA, and as I watched, I realized that this chase did not involve anyone famous nor had the drivers of the car done anything terrible i.e. shoot up a bank or a hit and run. Instead, this was simply a stolen car that the police were looking for.

And yet, even knowing that this chase posed no significance to the future of human existence I could not turn the stupid thing off wondering if the occupants of the car would shoot at police, hit a pedestrian, or suddenly, accelerate their car off the highway into the ravine, then, exploding into a fireball of death and destruction. Of course, none of this happened as the occupants of the stolen car eventually pulled over to the middle of road and gave up. But I remained glued to my set watching the entire surrender including the post arrest commentary.

So while I wanted to write a little entry here blasting MSNBC for covering this crap in the afternoon, I now realize to do so would be a level of hypocrisy that even I cannot stoop to... cause really the answer to why they show this crap is for people like me... who get sucked in and thus cannot switch the channel.

And since I got sucked in, the least I can do, is to provide you with some screen shots from the chase just so you can get the flavor of what went down... enjoy..

Here are the police, who according to the commentator are in a textbook perfect formation. Who knew there was a textbook for police formations? A training guide sure, but a textbook?

A close up of the textbook formation, not suprisingly, the cars that the California police officers use today have not changed in terms of their appearance since the days of Chips.

Oscar De Le Hoya...

Yankees Baseball

2007-04-26T20:49:00.000-04:00

Philip Hughes just got chased from the game tonight against the Blue Jays. He had a pretty decent start and looks like he has some good stuff with the ability to strike out who he wants to. There is no doubt that this kid has some major league stuff, but the fact remains that he left the game before completing the fifth inning as the Blue Jays were starting to figure him out.

Now, the Yankees broadcasters on YES could have just said, "Hey this is his first start and its not too shocking that he gave up some runs.." But of course that type of analysis would require getting their mouths off of the nobs of everyone on the Yankees organization and ability to not make excuses for . So instead of saying that, here is what I heard from Mr. Michael Kay, himself:

"I think its pretty safe to say that if Mr. Hughes was a corporation, everyone would want to invest him." Um ok, he is not a corporation and actually is a major league pitcher who the Yankees smartly have... so no one else can invest in him... Of course, Michael Kay probably could have just said he has a great future in this league, but that would have been not been over indulgent.

And sure that little bit of hyperbole would have been sufficient, but Michael Kay continued with, "You know Hughes was recently rated the number one prospect in baseball... not just the Yankees farm system.... THE ENTIRE LEAGUE..." Thanks for the clarification buddy about what you meant by "in baseball," I can see how we would have been confused and not known that there are more teams in baseball than the Yankees. Man, Yankees fans must be really dumb.

Anyway, I had to turn that shit off and watch some of the Office and 30 Rock, but I am sure that the blowjob festival has continued on the Yankees broadcast so hopefully, if you read this thing in time, you can click on over and listen to Michael Kay gag on pole.

We Are Recover

2007-04-26T01:52:00.000-04:00

Good to see that the Sox made a nice little bounce back tonight versus the Orioles, who have solidified their spot as the team to face when you are struggling in the AL East. Sure this is a team that once experienced record breaking crowds and some good seasons in the design changing park that is Camden Yards, but in their freefall as an organization over the last two decades, Baltimore have morphed themselves into the doormat of the American League... and yes, this is a tragedy, but then again, it also what happens when you predicate your success on a player like Cal Ripken who towards the end of his streak was nothing more than a cardboard cutout put out there to erase Lou Gehrig from the record books. When you bank on the past, you are going to have to pay for your loss of perspective on the future... So its good to see that the Sox with Schill found the way back to the win column, and hopefully, this will continue into this weekend's potential Bronx Bombers-sponsored revenge series at the Stadium.

Panic in the Bronx?

2007-04-25T10:25:00.000-04:00

Last year, Theo Epstein pushed the panic button and made a trade to reacquire Doug Mirabelli from the Padres in order to bring back Tim Wakefield's personal catcher to the team. In doing so, he traded away Josh Bard and Cla Meredith, who proceeded to have rock solid seasons. After the way things ended up last year, Yankees fans constantly chided us Sox fans for having a GM who panicked and made an awful trade to bring back a backup catcher. And in hindsight, they are probably right... although there is NO WAY, anyone could have anticipated that Bard and Meredith would have the seasons they did.

So let's flash to today, with the Yankees currently in the middle of a five game losing streak after Mike Meyers gave up a grand slam to Carl Crawford in last night's game. Needless today on the FAN, fans and radio personalties alike are sounding the alarm and almost in unison seem to be chanting one thing, "BRING BACK BERNIE!!!"

No, this is not a cry to bring back that dead dude from Weekend at Bernies or that zany entertainment salesman from the Connecticut Home Entertainment stores. Instead, it is a cry to bring back Yankees old timer's day legend, Bernie Williams, who this year after year's of service with the club, was kindly told that his services were no longer needed and that in order to make the team, he would have to win a spot in Spring Training or spend some time in the minors. Not suprisingly, Mr. Williams took this as a giant shot at his pride and has not been heard from since the start of Spring Training. (Although the YES network was slobbering all over his nob on Opening Day, talking about how classy it was that Bernie called before the game to wish the team luck on the season. Hey guys, he's unemployed, he has NOTHING ELSE TO DO BUT MAKE PHONE CALLS AND DRINK!!!")

The point of this little rant is this... Bernie Williams CANNOT PITCH... and for anyone that has watched the last five games, pitching has pretty much been the problem here... They currently have A-Rod having the sickest April of any player in the history of baseball, but have coughed up any leads that his hot bat has provided them because their pitching SUCKS. So hey, bring back Bernie Williams, who at last check was atleast 103 years old, and just keep ignoring the fact that you have a total of 2 pitchers who can give you six quality innings each start. Atleast, your manager is not known for over pitching his bullpen during the course of the season. I am sure all those arms should be nice and fresh for the stretch run. Atleast if they do bring back Bernie, Red Sox fans will know the exact moment this season that the panic button was pressed.

Some General News

2007-04-25T00:34:00.000-04:00

Not going to be much funny stuff written here but I figure that I need to even start putting the mundane down just so I can have an excuse to write. So here in no particular order and in true lawyer number'd fashion is my week that was:

1. Red Sox swept the Yanks in a meaningless series in April and for the first time in 17 years. Last year, when the Sox were swept by the MFY's at the end of the season, I was kind of glad because for most of the summer, I saw the cracks that were expanding within the Red Sox team. The team of '06 no matter how we want to spin was at best a transitional year team, who got lucky early and then ran out of gas at the end. So it was with great joy that the Red Sox actually beat the Yankees during the first series of this year. True, these Yankees were utilizing minor league pitchers, but you have to beat the teams that you are supposed to and this version of the Yankees are a beatable team. So it's a good start to build on unless they continue to get destroyed by the Blue Jays like they have the last two games.

2. New Job on the horizon? I interviewed a couple of weeks ago and from the sound of things, the firm should let me know in a day or two if I got the job. Not really going to say much more, but I would love to have a sweet ass new job. (And by firm, I mean Six Flags, and by new job, I mean dressing up like Yosemite Sam for a summer at their Park in New Jersey.)

3. New computer on the scene... Hooked myself up with a fat new ride, Dell Inspiron 1505 with 2 GB of RAM. The Mind of Rain Delay, who replaced the Mind of Mary (my old Apple) is supa fast and supa cool and I put a password on it so my roommate can't nuke it by looking at porn.

So that's what I got... nothing flashy just the way things are....

P.S. Brooklyn Lou is on vacation in Florida. At least is that what his postcard says...

Imus

2007-04-20T18:28:00.000-04:00

I know that i am late to this witchunt, but after reading this article regarding a poll conducted to figure out what people thought of his firing, I needed to add my two cents. In the interest of full disclosure, I have listened to Don Imus since I was in elementary school because my parents were fans of his from the days of WNBC and through to his times on WFAN. I personally enjoyed the morning rants with politicians where he skillfully made them look like the dumb asses that they really are. I thought, however, in recent years, his show became too much about his ranch and whatever cause his wife was championing with less of a focus on him conducting kick ass interviews.

And yes, I thought that he often said things that were horribly offensive just like Howard Stern, Opie and Anthony, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Nancy Grace, and anyone else that makes their living by trying to out shock the American public. But after his recent comments, I thought that Imus had gone to far, and I think that punishment fit the crime although I thought that doing it while he was conducting his annual telethon for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and for his Ranch for kids with cancer, was pretty piss poor timing.

And finally, I would not even have bothered to write about it since I think that the media has done their usual tour de force shit storm of coverage leaving me with not much to add, but then i read this article. Now, nothing in the article actually surprises me except for the last sentence of this paragraph:

Among those Americans who had heard "a little" or "a lot" about the Imus story, 54 percent said the host's removal from the airwaves was about right. Thirty-two percent said it was too tough, and 8 percent said it was not tough enough, according to the survey by the Washington-based Pew Research Center for The People and The Press.

Now, the man got fired from his job and has been black balled for the time being from the airwaves. And yet, 8% of those people polled thought that the punishment was not "tough enough"? What exactly does that mean? What exactly would a person who answered the poll in that manner want to happen to Imus? A pound of flesh? A public stoning? Maybe we could just draw and quarter him... would that be enough for these people?

I mean I have no problem with him getting fired although I think it was less for the comments and more due to the collosal witchhunt that transpired, but I think the man has paid the price, apologized, and now, it's time to move on and start to worry about real like the price of cheese.

Lou? Lou? Where are You?

2007-04-20T18:20:00.000-04:00

No he is not dead... but after two nights of virtually uninterrupted sleep, I think that the ultrasonic device that I bought has forced Brooklyn Lou to find other places to call home. (hopefully in my roommate's room.)

And it has been virtually uninterrupted as two nights ago, I got to hear a lovely drunk couple fight right out in front of my house at 4 AM... The conversation went something like this:

Drunken Girl: I am sorry, I cannot go fast I am really hurt from hitting my head on the pavement. I think i am really hurt.

Drunk Guy: What do you want me to do about it...

Dramatic Pause followed by the sound of Drunk Guy kicking the shit out of my plastic garbage can... (Not sure what the garbage can had to do with his dumb ass girlfriend falling and smacking her head, but I am thinking about filling the sucker with bricks in order to break the foot of the next mother fucker that kicks it.)

And then, silence, which leads me to believe that this drunk couple was then abducted by aliens and now reside on the planet, Zoon or possibly they just continued walking home...

Point of that matter is that Lou appears to be gone... I will be sure to let you know if he makes a comeback this weekend.

Update from the War

2007-04-18T14:04:00.000-04:00

So way back when, I wrote about the ongoing battle that I have been having with my third roommate, Brooklyn Lou, a mouse who has setup his residence within the walls of my apartment. (Note: I am assuming it's one mouse when in reality, we are probably dealing with an entire fleet of mouse, rats, and several other of the mouse/rat family of rodents.) Recent cleaning revealed that Brooklyn Lou had been spending a lot of time in several places in my aparment like the corner of the kitchen, under the kitchen sink, and under the couch in the living room. AND by spending a lot of time, I mean that he was shitting like a crazy person in all three of those places. (Two points on that last sentence: Crazy people shit more than regular human beings and then smear their shit all over the place... it's science, don't argue with me about it....Further, per some interweb research, rodents shit so that they can figure out where they have been inside of a house or apartment the next time they go there... It's kind of like a fucked up version of Hanzel and Gretel.) So after some heavy duty cleaning along with the purchasing of several glue traps, my roommate (the human one) and I were confident that we had rid the abode of our friend, Lou.

Of course the story did not end there... because instead of Lou taking the hint that his presence was no longer wanted, he decided that since he was clearly not welcome in the kitchen or the living room that he would move into my room. So each night right around 3 AM, I get to hear my little furry friend participate in his version of Pants Off Dance Off while I attempt to catch the few ZZZZZZ's, I get each night. And while I understand that someday, I will hear the pitter patter of little feet in my own life, I am really not cool with my first experience in this realm being the sound of a friggin' mouse running wind sprints...

So after another night of constantly interrupted sleep, today, I decided to take matters into my own hands and went to the hardware store across from my work to stock up on a veritable arsenal of weapons to end the life of Sweet Lou. (Not Lou Pineilla, who by the looks of the Cubs season, is about two more outbursts from a major heart attack.) As such, I purchased 8 glue traps, 6 bags of poison, 1 enclosed trap, and finally, a nice little sound making device that is supposed to drive the mice completely nuts. As a result, tonight, I will methodically release all of my weapons on Brooklyn Lou and hope that I finally eradicate him from my apartment and the Earth. While I would love to say that I have confidence in this new approach, sadly, I think the more likely result is that Lou will take his battle for bedroom supremacy to my bed, and thus, I will wake up this evening to a close up shot of Lou's ass taking a mouse-size crap right on my forehead... At this point, I think I am just going to move to the couch and forget about the whole damn thing.

Here I am....

2007-04-18T13:56:00.000-04:00

Well, alot has happened since the last time, I put finger to key and wrote for this little page. All I will say regarding that is that someone I care deeply for is going through a rough patch in terms of their health, but with prayer, support, and amazing strength, this person is going to be just fine. I, like this person, do not want to turn this blog into the type of thing that chronicles the ongoing battle that this person now faces... instead, I intend to keep the content light and the anger flowing... So other than the vague reference above that will be the last I talk about what i just wrote... You know the thing right up there that is vague... and contains no real detail.. No not that thing the other thing... exactly.

The Return of Brooklyn Lou

2007-03-03T22:00:00.000-05:00

So tonight after finishing up the third Harry Potter movie and cleaning up after dinner, my evening was interrupted by the third member of my apartment, a mouse, who I named a long time ago, Brooklyn Lou. As background, I have seen a total of three mice since I arrived in Brooklyn almost three and half years ago along with approximately five cockroaches. I consider that number to be pretty decent by New York City standards so I continue to indulge them and our odd state of coexistence.

This evening's appearance occurred when Lou ran from behind the heater into the kitchen and then under the kitchen table. I promptly screamed saying the word "Mouse" with my voice cracking like a 13 year old boy going through puberty. I then gingerly got up, put on my Doc Martens, and grabbed the 2 X 4 located in my room. (As I said, its an odd relationship, one that someday may end with me bashing Lou's head in. Although I doubt, I have the guts.) Alas, Lou got away and is probably now somewhere downstairs feeding on the remnants of my landlord's daily cooked Italian feast.

Anyway, here's to Lou, you lucky little bastard, wherever you may be.. (most likely in my cupboard eating all my food and pooping everywhere.) (And yes, I am toasting him with a Blue Moon right now.)

Friday Night's Alright...

2007-03-03T16:37:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I forget that Brooklyn is actually a huge borough and that it does not simply consist of Williamsburg and Brooklyn Heights, otherwise known as the area where I live and the area where I work. Anyway, last night, I went out to Bay Ridge to hang with some friends from work who call the Ridge their home. Bay Ridge for those you out there that do not know is the part of Brooklyn featured in Saturday Night Fever... and also a very neighborhoody part of Brooklyn which makes you forget that you are actually in one of the five boroughs.

Anyway, last night featured, a trip to a delicious little Middle Eastern place called, Tanoreen, which lived up to its reviews as one of the best Middle Eastern places in New York City. Plus, it's cheap, which is always an added bonus. The group did a number on the menu, eating hummus, baba, a cool little cauliflower dish, stuffed grape leaves, okra with lamb, shepherd's pie, turkish salad, and a delicious mixed grill meat platter. The place is BYOB, but there is a wine store and a bodega right next door to satisfy all of your drinking needs. The other cool part of the dinner was that the owner/chef of the joint was very visible during the entire dining experience walking around and talking to each table making sure that everyone was well fed and enjoying themselves. It was a nice little touch that I think is sometimes forgotten in the bustling restaurant industry of New York City. Safe to say, a good time was had by all.

After a filling meal, all involved decided that we were too full to continue the evening and thus I left Bay Ridge to head back to the Burg. As a nice little surprise ending to the evening, on my way back to the Burg last night, I got to ride on one of the new R160 subway cars that was being tested on the N line. The cars are similar in appearance to the R143 cars that can be found on L line along with others in New York City. However, this new car's features the high tech display screen seen below:

The display board has a LCD screen, seen above displaying the 8 Av Local C information. The screen changes as the train proceeds from stop to stop with advisories, information about the new cars, and advertisements for MTA and the services they provide. The screen can also change according to what line the train is on so no longer will F trains that are acting as G trains for the day be suffering from an identity crisis. Additionally, as seen to the right, the stops shift down the board as the subway cars travel from stop to stop and the board let's you know how many stops you are away from your destination. (Providing a little added torture to those hipster transplants living in Harlem, who are no reminded throughout their ride that they still have 30 stops left before they are home) Like the LCD screen, the list of stops will all change according to what line the train is traveling on. Finally, the announcements are all automated so there will no longer be the classic scratchy subway voice to decipher. (Actually, I prefer hearing the announcements from real people and then sharing a knowing glance with all of my fellow passengers who are equally confused by what was just said by the conductor.)

Anyway, it was kind of cool to get a little sneak preview of the future...and to see another part of Brooklyn... and while, I don't usually write these little look at me and all of my adventure style pieces, I beg your indulgence as I am quite sure someday I am going to need this little blog to help me remember what the heck I did when I was 29 and angry... so stop judging me.

Apparently Homes Were Not Enough

2007-02-27T18:22:00.000-05:00

It seems that the vandalism back home is not just limited to home as now there is news that the school systems school buses were vandalized early this morning. Now, I am not sure if the house parties and this random vandalism is related or that its kids that did the vandalism, but someone nees to declare martial law back home and lock everyone in their homes. I mean I definitely came from a small town, but it was not so small that people needed to resort to destruction in order to find something to do to take their minds off of their pathetic existence. Maybe the town is just having a bad month or something or maybe everyone back home has gone crazy. Actually come to think of it, we do have a very poorly run nuclear power plant near our town so it is possible that everyone's genetics have been so altered by the leaking radiation that the town is now just populated by mutants who are bent on destroying all that exists there. Another possibility that just came to me while re-reading the article is that it is also possible that the town is now under the control of an angry gang of elementary school aged children, who will stop at nothing to ensure that they no longer have to go to school.

Anyway, here is some of the article from theday.com:

Twenty-two out of 25 buses used by the school district were vandalized sometime between 2:30 and 5 this morning, forcing the schools to close for the day.

The ignition wires and electrical wires to the buses’ lights and radios were cut, according to Jim Flahive, an area general manager for Laidlaw, the company that owns and operates the buses.

Here is the complete article.

My Hometown

2007-02-27T18:08:00.000-05:00

Well since I am currently on trial in front of a judge, who may or may not have been a crazy person in his last life, and with minimal support from my own office, who collectively has decided this is the case to hang me out to dry on, I figured that I would post a quick little bit about the craziness that has occurred recently in my hometown in sleepy Connecticut.

The article below describes two separate parties back home where wild vandalism ensued as part of an apparently new phenomena where kids use the house of a vacationing friend/classmate and then trash the place. (Ok this is not a new phenomena, but I never remember needing to trash a place when I was partying there. Of course, I also remember being in the middle of the woods during the dead of winter, which in retrospect may have been a good indication of how much of a moron I was and am.) Anyway, it's wild times back home.... actually it's kind of sad... and pathetic...

From theday.com:

Police Investigating EL House Trashings

East Lyme — In Philipp Roosli's house, beer cans are toppled onto Legos. Bras are strewn on a bed near family photographs. Near the kitchen table, where a jug of Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum sits, the family has marked off its children's heights in pen on a door's molding.Boots and Tiger, the family's two cats, have their heights marked there as well. Tiger is missing.

Philipp Roosli and his family were in Europe last week on a ski vacation when, police say, dozens of teenagers entered their house as well as another in town and trashed both. East Lyme schools were off last week. On Monday, police were still piecing together how the teens got into each house and who caused the damage. Police said the Roosli house, on Riverview Road, sustained several thousand dollars' worth of damage. The other house, owned by the Balantic family, on Laurel Hill Drive, sustained about $20,000 worth of damage, according to police. In that incident, at least two teens also totaled the family car.

Three teenage boys have been charged in the Laurel Hill Drive incident. The arrest of a fourth who was injured in the car crash is expected. Police are unsure whether any of the four were also involved in the Riverview Road incident. Under a 2006 law, police are prohibited from releasing the name of any 16- or 17-year-old they arrest except in the case of serious crimes.

Police said they believe 20 to 40 people attended parties at each of the houses. They said they believe there were a total of about four parties on different nights. Police stressed that they are not looking to arrest everyone who attended the parties but are seeking those who might have broken in and those who caused damage.

The Rooslis' house was the perfect place for a party. Hidden from Riverview Road, it sits at the end of a long driveway. Woods separate it from neighbors. Roosli learned from a house-sitter Thursday that his house had been used for at least one party and that police had been there. Roosli decided not to cut his trip short and didn't come home until Sunday night. He and his oldest son, a freshman at East Lyme High School, walked in planning to do some cleaning. They quickly retreated. During a walk-through Monday, the floors were sticky in every room that isn't carpeted. There was vomit in the sink of an upstairs bathroom. In a downstairs bathroom, Roosli said human feces filled the toilet and a nearby litter box. In the living room, dozens of cans of Busch Light were stacked on a long wooden table that looks as though it was used for a drinking game. A pingpong ball lies underneath the table. Jugs of Captain Morgan were scattered throughout, and lollipops, wrapped and unwrapped, were discarded in nearly every room. In the basement, a cherished antique chair the family brought from Europe was destroyed, toppled backwards. Every bed in the house was rumpled, including the one is Roosli's daughter's bedroom, where a poster of the Lillie B. Haynes fourth-grade class of 2005 is pinned to the wall.

The rest of the article can be found here: http://theday.com/re.aspx?re=6f973343-be9d-4b2e-b26e-668f90054a33.

Rest in Peace: Dennis Johnson

2007-02-22T16:22:00.000-05:00

No this is not a funny celebrity death pool post, but rather a sad little entry on the passing of Dennis Johnson, a former Celtics player and part of my favorite sports team of all time. The 1986 Celtics won the NBA Championship beating the Houston Rockets. I remember watching this series and the final game with my Dad. In fact, we probably still have the final game on tape somewhere in my house. Anyway, DJ as he was called was a huge part of this great team, and I will forever remember how he along with Danny Ainge handled the guard duties for that famous team. Sad times definitely.

Here is more from Espn.com:

Former Boston Celtics guard Dennis Johnson, coach of the Celtics' team in the NBA Development League, collapsed during practice Thursday and died, ESPN The Magazine's Ric Bucher is reporting. Johnson was 52. Johnson was the MVP of the 1979 NBA Finals, averaging 22.6 points as his Seattle SuperSonics beat the Washington Bullets. After a brief stint with the Phoenix Suns, Johnson rejoined the Boston Celtics, where he teamed with Larry Bird, Kevin McHale, Danny Ainge and Robert Parish for a glorious run in the 1980s that saw Boston win the 1984 and 1986 NBA championships. Known throughout the league as "DJ," Johnson played in five NBA All-Star games and was named to the All-Defensive First Team six times. In 14 NBA seasons, he scored 15,535 points (a 14.1 points-per-game average) and averaged 17.3 points in 180 playoff games.

Video Games Rule

2007-02-21T10:23:00.000-05:00

Bob Jingle and I play alot of video games, and more than once over past three or so years that I have lived in Brooklyn, we have debated with other members of our circle of friends about the benefits of playing video games. (Note: I was going to link an blog entry by Mr. Jingle here, but I cannot find where he blogge about it. GOD DAMN IT.) Well, it appears that we were on to something because per the article and link below, it appears that surgeons who play video games not only get there dork in another area of their lives other than the practice of medicine, but also appear to be able to rule at surgery.

Surgeons may err less by playing video games
Three hours a week decreased mistakes by 37 percent, study finds

All those years on the couch playing Nintendo and PlayStation appear to be paying off for surgeons. Researchers found that doctors who spent at least three hours a week playing video games made about 37 percent fewer mistakes in laparoscopic surgery and performed the task 27 percent faster than their counterparts who did not play video games.

And on that note, here is a creepy picture of some old dude playing video games and smiling a little happily for my tastes. What are the odds that he molested this little kid after he got to level 10 on find Grandpa's Balls, a choose your own adventure game for Xbox 360? Creepy...

Celebrity Death Pool

2007-02-20T14:15:00.000-05:00

Since I won my imaginary celebrity death pool with Anna Nicole Smith beating Bear, Sally the Doll, and Pazcki, the puppy, I just wanted to be the 1 millionth person to call dibs for my next one on Britney Spears, who if you have not heard got a little bit of haircut this weekend.

As a result, it seems that she is on a nice clean road to self destruction so it may be just a matter of days before we hear that Ms. Spears like Anna is found unconcious in some hideout hotel room with a bottle of methadone in the fridge and Howard K. Stern by her bedside. I mean doesn't she have handlers? Can't one of them just sit her down and slap her around a little bit or is that something that she would enjoy too much? And who is taking care of the kids?

On second thought, since many people have probably claimed her, I think I am going to go out on a limb here and take Carrot Top instead. (I know this is an old story but I saw him again this weekend at the NBA All Star game, and it got me to thinking what a crazy transformation he has undergone.) I mean has anyone seen the size of this guy. Not only has he had considerable work of the plastic variety done to his face, but it also appears that he has been in contact with Joey at the local Gold's Gym to help him get on the right "cycle." (Horse pills people--- steroids!!!)

As such, I think he has about a month or two before his heart simply explodes from all the drugs he has coercing through his system. Cycle down brother... cycle down... Does his comedy routine suck so bad that he is now taking on all comers who criticize him by snapping them in half? (Sorry I posted this picture, but I cannot believe how many crazy shirtless pictures of this whack job there on the interwebs.)

I would throw a third possible choice out there for you gambling fanatics, but I think it might just be easier for you to go to perezhilton.com, thesuperficial.com, yeeeah.com, or drunkenstepfather.com, and simpy take the first picture that pops up. Hopefully, you will get lucky and end up with a picture of Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, or that skank Mischa Barton, but I am sure whomever you end up with will be sufficient and probably a good choice for the next one to bite it.

And that is your happy thought from Rain Delay for the day.

A Settlement Has Been Reached

2007-02-20T13:25:00.000-05:00

My trial settled this morning before I started selecting a jury. This is a common occurrence, settlement right before trial, because much like poker, plaintiff's attorneys often bluff right up until the time of trial in hopes that they can squeeze more money out of the defendants. In this case, we threw in an extra $2500 on top of our previous $7500 that we had put on the case. In theory that means that the bluffing worked but in reality, the extra $2500 means very little. This is because this settlement in this case after all the fees have been paid will probably mean that the plaintiff sees less than 3000 of the actual settlement and that the plaintiff's attorney barely covers the cost of the time they put into this case. So for all that time and money, there is very little pay out and really makes you question the tactic of letting such a low value case go on for over six years as it would have been more profitable to get rid of this thing a lot earlier in process. Of course, attorneys are some of the dumbest people I know so this is not surprising in the least.

The good news is that with the case being settled, I have the next couple of days to make sure I continue to update this bad boy. I have some ideas in my head so come back here later today or tomorrow, and I should have something new posted.

Now off to write.

Tolerance

2007-02-15T00:18:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Tim Hardaway for demonstrating that ignorance and outright stupidity is alive and well in the United States.... The following was his response to being asked by Sports radio personality, Dan LeBatard, how he would deal with having a gay teammate.

"You know, I hate gay people, so let it be known," Hardaway said. "I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."

Hey Champ, why don't you sit the next few plays out, ok? I realize that people still think this way, and I am not so naive as to believe that this type hatred will ever be eradicated from society. However, it still shocks me when opinions like this one are voiced in such a mainstream setting without even a hint of concern or sense of responsibility as to what they are saying. Furthermore, I am not trying to say that people cannot have their own views but to rise to the level of saying I "hate" a certain group of people and then stating that they should not exist on this Earth is just plain lunacy and deserves condemnation.

Further, it's equally shameful that today after making those comments, Hardaway has of course come out, apologized, and stated, "Yes, I regret it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said I hate gay people or anything like that that was my mistake." I love when people do use this type of nest day apology crap as if a simple apology will suddenly make us forget the comments of the day before. I cannot wait for the next step where he blames alcohol, Jesus, or the fact that he was picked on as a child as his excuse for comments and then enters rehab. I think that it is time that we stop giving athletes, celebrities, and other public figures a free pass on their comments and then almost immediate quest for reconciliation. As such, I think that Mr. Hardaway from this day forward should not be referred to as former-NBA player Tim Hardaway, but instead should be labeled with the phrases that he chose to use to discuss gay people. As a result, I present to you, "Homophobe and Hater of the Gay Community," Tim Hardaway.

Good Call

2007-02-14T18:52:00.000-05:00

To every weather man, who told me last night that the storm would probably amount to nothing here in the City, FUCK YOU. Seriously, do you people go to school for this stuff or what? At what point did you want to include the fact that the City would get 3 inches of snow, topped off with ice, then more snow, and now more snow...(instead of reporting less than an inch with rain all day today.) Oh and thanks for telling us about the blinding sleet needles that were falling this AM. What a useless profession!!! Atleast, I got to watch one of you d-bags take a digger last night live on CBS 2 News... I hope you broke your arm...

Valentine's Day Massacre

2007-02-13T09:59:00.000-05:00

Well, it's 11 AM, and I am glad to say that I made it to work today. I cannot begin to tell you the amount of courage that it took to get out of bed this morning, throw on those shoes, and take the old subterranean way here because if you haven't heard, New York City later this afternoon is about to get hit with a MAJOR, CATASTROPHIC snow storm... the type of storm that may cripple this thriving metropolis... with its projected 2-4 inches of possible accumulation.

Yes, you read that correct as last night every news station in New York City lead with a story about the threat of the coming major storm that at its most recent projections is going to drop 2-4 inches of snow on the City. No, this storm is not going to drop 10-12 feet like the eight days of snow did in Upstate New York nor is it going to even drop a foot. Instead, the media has invoked its Storm of the Century 24 hour coverage for something that back in the day would not even have been mentioned on an evening news broadcast, but now becomes the entire focus of the broadcast.

Sadly, this phenomena is not limited to the over reactive media of New York City as I have caught similarly over the top broadcasts while visiting the motherland of Connecticut. It wasn't always like this, however, as I remember the days when the weather was simply a two minute segment right before sports that on the very rarest of occassions would lead off the broadcast if a storm threatened to dump a significant amount of snow on the area or there was a friggin' hurricane about to hit. Needless to say, it appears that this type of shock forecasting is here to stay as weatherman and their complicit news stations are now engaged in a nightly game of one-ups-manship to see who can make the craziest predictions about the weather. This endless competition to be the first to call the end of mankind leaves the viewers to helplessly discern what actually will happen during a storm and at that same time plants the seed to watch this continuous coverage in case the worst possible outcome becomes a reality.

But fear not my readers, I will not leave you to rely on the maniacs to tell you what to expect in the next forty-eight horus. Instead, I will remain here at Rain Delay Storm Watch Headquarters for the remainder of the day and atleast until 5 PM to give you my faithful readers updates on the progress of the storm along with any new predictions I can find from the local media to better assist you with preparing for the apocalypse.

Bridge to WHAT?

2007-02-12T21:04:00.000-05:00

Recently, I saw the preview for the new Disney-made film version of the book, Bridge to Terabithia, by Katherine Paterson. The preview appears to be heavy on teasing potential film goers with amazing images of the imaginary world of Terabithia that the two main characters, Jesse Aaron and Leslie Burke, create in the woods near their houses. (For those that want a refresher on the plot, it's here.)

Needless to say, it appears from the preview that Disney has disney'ed the shit out of this film, and by doing so, they have created a story that appears to be more about the fantasy world and less about the one thing that I remember to this day from reading this book back in elementary school... and that is, THE GIRL FRIGGIN' DIES WHEN SHE FALLS OFF THE BRIDGE, SMACKS HER HEAD, AND DROWNS... SHE DIES GOD DAMMIT... I have no memories of a fantasy world or the fun times had there. Instead all I remember is that little plot twist with that poor girl in the water drowning. I mean I played in the woods, there was water, there were rocks in the water, and there were trees over that water with the rocks... I could picture it man cause I lived it... I WAS IN THE SHIT...

And so, I don't have memories of the fantasy world that they created, which presently, sounds a lot more like a clever cover up that they invented to hide the fact that they were engaging in some weird pre-pubescent sex shit in those woods. Whatever was going on out there, I remember none of it instead I am left with a solitary vision of a floating corpse. So maybe, I will go and see Disney's new take on the book that has scarred me for these many years. And then hopefully through the magic of Disney, my memories of that fateful fall will be replaced with happier thoughts filled with images of unicorns, dragons, Goofy, Donald, and Mickey and Minnie getting it on somewhere on a rocky ledge in the kingdom of Terabithia.

A Contest Between Gentlemen

2007-02-12T20:16:00.000-05:00

As I get older, my body is slowly but surely transformed from years and years of drinking the suds from that of a former Division I athlete to that of a coach potato. As a result, articles of clothing stop fitting as favorite t-shirts seem shorter as they try to extend over my belly edging scarily towards becoming half shirts and jeans take a little more effort to put on to fit over my giant ass and legs.

Sadly, with the weight gain of aging, the motivation to start to reverse the years of imbibing tends to be lacking as results are slow to come by since my metabolism is no longer the chipper little lad of my youth. Instead, I can no longer simply think about losing weight and do it, it actually requires work, which means I have to exercise and watch what I eat. And while, I enjoy working out, the second part of that equation is the part that I kind of have a problem with since I really enjoying drinking some beers and eating good food.

And so, drastic times call for drastic measures, and that is why today, I proposed a contest, a challenge of sorts, between myself and fellow blogger, Bob Jingle, where we will have a race to be the first one to lose twenty pounds, which would put me right at my fighting weight from my first year of law school of 190 or so. Now, the details have not really been worked out.. as we have not figured out the reward although proposals like a Luger Steak or 500 dollars have been discussed. Nor have we picked a start date or hammered out any of the rules such as a rule against starving yourself in order to win.

And so maybe, this whole thing will just end up being another Monday morning lament between Bob Jingle and I about how we hate our jobs, how fat we are, and how we cannot figure out what to do with the rest of our lives... As such, even though all of this all is very preliminary at this juncture, I will be sure to keep you posted if we get closer to this challenge becoming a reality. Further if any of you out there have any ideas on rules, rewards, or ways to make this challenge a reality, please feel free to drop a comment and let me know....

Recovering Slowly

2007-02-11T13:18:00.000-05:00

As I get older, it becomes harder and harder to get over a hard night of drinking. I mean I am not as hungover the day after as I used to be in college or law school mainly because I no longer smoke a pack of cigarettes in addition to ingesting 10-15 beers. But still, I remain a bit off for a good day or two these days where I am just not as sharp as I am on a regular, which is not really that sharp actually pretty dull kind of like a butter knife. (I just used a butter knife reference, I think that proves my point on how retarded I am the day after a night of carousing...)

Anyway, last night's events featured a Dirty 30th Birthday for Bob Jingle's wife where the drinks were all vodka based. As a result, I am now straining to put together a coherent thought as the remaining members of the Russian Army to find their way out of my system. (What ever the fuck that means.) As such, I am left sitting here in my numbed state trying to write and then, spend the remainder of my time screaming at another brutal performance by the UConn Husky Basketball team.

(God they are pathetic! I mean how the fuck can a team play three quarters of season and still look like they have never played a game of organized basketball in their life. I think its time just to admit that the players they recruited are just not cutting it when it comes to playing anything that resembles UConn basketball. After the season, Jim Calhoun needs to just sit them down, thank them for their time, and ask them to not return next season. This not pretty folks.)

Anyway, I have 11 more minutes of suckitude to watch...

My Office Space Existence

2007-02-09T16:33:00.000-05:00

From the movie, Office Space:

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh heh - and, uh, after that I just sorta space out for about an hour.

Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk; but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch, too. I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I sit here on this lovely February afternoon in my office sipping a Tall Boy, I have come to realize that more and more my life is slowly becoming very much like that of Peter Gibbons from the movie, Office Space filled with a lack of inspiration or motivation. As I have mentioned before, I am a trial attorney, which means that every week I basically pick a jury, open a case, try the case, close the sucker down, and wait for a verdict. If my case ends early in the week, I get a new one for the next week and start the whole process all over again. (Lather, rinse, repeat) Trials can be fun if that is what you want to do with your life, and yes there is a rush that comes with a getting a verdict but once again, that is only if this is what you want to do with your life.

For the last couple of weeks, however, I have not had a trial assigned to me since we have hit a lull in my office. As a result, I have started to find other ways to spend my time while at work such as reinvigorating this blog and surfing the web for porn. However, it has become readily apparent to me that slowly but surely whether I have a trial or not I am going to become Peter Gibbons because I just don't have the necessary desire, drive, or motivation to put any effort into this hapless job.

And I know its going this metamorphisis is going to happen because it already has started... I mean this week is a perfect example...

Monday-- Day after Super Bowl-- Called in sick.

Tuesday-- Contemplated calling in sick, but realized I had a basketball game with the office team that even so instead went to work around 10:30 when I am supposed to be there at 9. Minimal amount of work done. Considered doing more work but realized there is no point to doing any work.

Wednesday-- Arrived at work relatively early i.e. 9:30. Conducted a deposition and then took the rest of the day off to write.

Thursday-- Arrived at work a little before noon, went to lunch at 1, and failed to do a thing for the remainder of the day other than find out Anna Nicole died and then wrote about it.

Friday-- Got here around 9:40. Spent the remainder of the day surfing the web, sending links of articles to my friends, writing, and gchatting. I did do work for one hour because the big boss from Manhattan came to inspect us. After he left, I proceeded to crack a beer and write this thing.

Actually from that summary, I have a pretty easy/hooked up existence, but the problem is that I want to be challenged. I wanted to be motivated. I want to work hard. I don't want to become Peter Gibbons. This is not the life I aspired to have. I am tired of frittering it away.

I want to dance....

INFIDELS!!!

2007-02-09T15:45:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the detective work of the my good friend Andrew of "Nobody Listens to Andrew" fame, I found out today that my old blog site, www.angryfornoparticularreason.blogspot.com, has been hijacked by spammers.

As a result, no longer do you get an error when you go there, but are instead met with a variety of spam links for the topic of "drafts sportscenter." There are ten links there that seem to run the spectrum from Sports Center highlights to debt consolidation, which actually is an ironic snapshot of my life. I feel partially responsible for the old site's fate as I never imagined that my simple change to a shorter easier-to-type name would result in such a quick demise for the my other address. Sorry old friend, I never meant for that to be your fate. And so, I promise to hunt down the bastards that did this to you, and publicly execute them on this site filming it all on a cell phone that will most likely be snuck in Savage or Bob Jingle. THEY WILL PAY... AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, THEY WILL PAY!!!

Anna Nicole Smith is Dead

2007-02-08T15:56:00.000-05:00

And I just won my celebrity death pool....

Seriously, for a day in which I have done no work and have been questioning my future with my current employer, this little breaking news story has created quite the stir throughout my universe of gchatting friends and coworkers. I guess my take since you care is that when combine lot of pills, depression, the death of a son, which you may or may not have had a part in, and rapid weight loss/gain/loss, you are not exactly the healthiest person in the world and are probably on borrowed time. As well, you might have a little motivation to end it all in order to get away from the craziness that is your existence. And while it would have been easy to see this one coming, Anna Nicole seemed to have this crazy ability to remain alive even though she has been clearly under the influence of a veritable cocktail of narcotics for decades now.

Rest in Peace Anna... you defied the law of averages for years... you crazy stripper.

No Spitting Allowed

2007-02-08T14:49:00.000-05:00

I spend most of my day in my office at work listening to Sirius Satellite Radio. The irony is that for the most part, the radio is tuned to ESPN radio, which can be tuned in on free radio throughout the country. Thus, proving once again that I am not the smartest person in the world and the most fiscally responsible.Anyway, since I listen to approximately six to seven hours of sports radio a day, I get to hear all the random stories that occur in the sports world each day. And that is exactly how I came to find out about this little nugget out of China.

Apparently, the country that willl be hosting the 2008 Summer Olympics has banned spitting in public for the upcoming games. (Read about how exactly the Chinese Government is destroying the country's artifacts andd past in order build the venues for the Olympics here.) Further, anyone that does spit will be fined 50 yuan, which is the daily income of a Chinese college graduate.

Fines for spitting? I know the Chinese Government likes to be in everyone's biznass all the time as exemplified by their whole belief in a lack of human rights protections or the fact that they tortured the shit out of Jack Bauer. But what is fining people for spitting really going to do? How are they going to enforce it? Can you pay the fine on the spot? Can you contest the spitting fine? (I bet the answers to all of those questions involve a small dark room where the offender ends up with electricity surging through your body while standing in a bucket of water.)

As for me, I will now have to cross off going to China for the time being because throughout my life, I have been someone who spits. (insert blowjob joke here) Even when people request me not to spit, I cannot stop myself from spitting. I am a spitter what can I say... I spit, it's what I do. As a result, I will not let the Chinese Government dictate my life and tell me when or where I can spit. So take that China, I am going to stay here in these United States where a man can spit on his own terms even if its into a mighty wind that propels it back into his own face.

For more on the spitting ban and its companion ban, the no cutting in line ban, check out this article from the Boston Herald.

No longer a face to go with the words?

2007-02-08T00:18:00.001-05:00

Sorry guys,

I started doing trials recently, and as much as I would enjoy a potential juror to be able to find me via picture or name, I realize that for my own professional well being it is time to go sans picture and name for the near future. So here we go, Rain Delay is the name, and I will just continue to plug along writing, hating, and boring you as much as possible.

Darkness is my freedom.

42 minutes..

2007-02-07T19:08:00.000-05:00

Is how long it took me to run home today. That's right, I ran home today from work in the cold, the bitter bitter cold. Currently, weather.com tells me that the temperature is 24 degrees outside, but that it feels like 11 degrees. (as if there is a difference at this point between the actual temperature and the what it feels like temperature with the recent cold snap that we have been having.)

Why did I run home you ask? I ran home because I am tired of being one of those people complaining about how damn cold it is outside. These people of course were the same people who weeks ago were complaining about how warm it was. The same suckers who I tried to warn to be careful what they wished for when they asked, "When does winter start?"

Further, I am tired of having the weather dictate what I can and cannot do. Sure, my cheeks currently feel like they may fall off and I can feel ice melting on my back, behind my ears, and some where near my balls, but I said screw it, laced up the shoes, and made it home. I was born and grew up in New England, GOD DAMMIT!!! I can remember running outside in high school during the middle of winter on a parking lot that resembled a speed skating rink and rowing on a river while ice formed on our oars. Thus, I need to snap out of this woosification spell that New York City has cast upon me and get tough. (atleast this is what I keep telling myself.)

For now, I ran home today from work.. maybe tomorrow, i will take a swim in the East River.

This just in...

2007-02-07T16:33:00.000-05:00

Rutgers' recruiting class features this guy:

All is now right with the world.

Who wants to be a pitcher and who wants to be a catcher?

2007-02-07T14:10:00.000-05:00

The time after the Super Bowl is always an odd point in the sporting year, mainly because it is the time of year that where there is no real sports story since some of the sports are in midseason (NBA and NHL), some are just starting to get interesting (College Basketball), and others have not even started again yet (MLB). As such, sports fanatics like myself find themselves wondering what they should focus on for the next couple of weeks until those seasons really get amped up. (Note: The NHL could be playing with a nuclear warhead strapped to the puck that may or may not detonate upon contact, and I still would not care enough to watch that stupid shit.)

As a result, we meaning me and the rest of the sporting nerds, start caring about things like signing day (today) in college football where college fans across the country find out who will be the future of their school on the grid iron and who at their school will someday find themselves in the police blotter for idiotic act that will undoubtily involve some type of narcotic, a halloween mask, a "borrowed" vehicle, and a paint or pellet gun. (If you are lucky both weapons will be involved along with an indescribable sex act.) An entire site dedicated to my alma mater's class can be found here.

Others of us start counting down the days till pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training as these are the first players to start the annual migration to either Florida or Arizona in Major League Baseball for the upcoming season. (My teams countdown to pitchers and catchers arrival can be found here.) For Red Sox fans like myself, this time of year used to mean that we would get our hopes up that this could be the year. Since 2004, however, with the winning of the World Series and the subsequent over exposure of our team, I now just obsess over whether or not this will help the team embarass those t-bags from the Bronx and avoid hopefully avoid the embarassment that was the 2006 season.

Another option is to find other sporting events to fill the void that football-less Saturdays and Sundays have created. This year, I have taken to watching real Football i.e. soccer in the form of the Premier League, which has games on Saturdays and Sundays on Fox Sports Network or is that Fox Soccer Network and features the best clubs in England. The current standings are here, and for those of you out there that want to find a team too cheer on, your research should start like with most things here. I tend to support Arsenal mainly because that is the team I use on FIFA Soccer 07 when playing on my Xbox. (Yes, my obsession has now creeped into my video game playing. What can I say, I am a catch.)

Finally, another popular source of distraction is to focus on a crazy little sport stories that otherwise would get no run at any other time during the year. One such story is that Alex Rodriguez, possibly the biggest tool in baseball, wrote a children's book called, Out of the Ballpark, which per HarperCollins is about a boy named Alex who knows what it’s like to swing at a wild pitch or have a ball bounce right between his legs. Now, for those of you out there who do not know, Alex Rodriguez had one of the most criticized seasons of his entire career in 2006. It was a season that featured more errors than ever in his career and plate appearances that made the average baseball fan wonder if Mr. Rodriguez had ever picked up a bat before. Of course, now he claims that the book has nothing to do with last season but more is a story about a child overcoming adversity and learning valuable life lessons on the way. (That is not a quote but isn't that what every crappy kids book written by an athlete is about?) Fact of the matter is the book is probably just another part of the annual Alex Rodriguez campaign to get people to like him instead of just realizing that he is trying way to hard and probably should just go the complete opposite direction becoming a villaneous wretch of a human being. Atleast then he could stop this charade.

So that is where we stand in the sports world at the present time in weird holding pattern where any random stories, sporting events, or feats of athleticism seize our attention without warning and for indeterminate periods of time. Waiting for the other sports to hit their stride or to start again. Now, if you will excuse me, the United States is playing Mexico this evening in soccer, and I have to figure out who exactly is on the US team so that I can scream at the television appropriately.

The Bitch Wore Diapers

2007-02-06T18:38:00.000-05:00

Just to make sure I have this documented somewhere for the rest of my life, here is a story detailing the sordid astronaut love triangle complete with the interesting fact that Crazy Female Astronaut wore space diapers so she would not have to stop during her 1000 mile drive to confront the Female Air Force Captain with whom she was competing for the love of Sexy Male Astronaut, who we will call Joe Pie-Eater. (Joe Pie-Eater for those who did not grow up with me or my friends is the name that we gave to any guy who had the insane ability to get the ladies even though said guy was a clearly a giant tool. Yes, we were jealous, and yes, we made up this name while listening to Nirvana while drinking stolen booze in somebody's basement on a Friday night instead of even attempting to meet girls on our own.) I think the lesson to learn from this sordid astronaut love triangle is if someone is crazy enough to wear diapers to avoid having to do number one or two, you might want to steer clear of them at all costs....I mean that is a level of dedication at getting back at someone that I clearly lack... Love is crazy...

Story can be found here.

I have been told that maybe pasting the entire article might not be the smartest... (and I'm the attorney)...

Here are the relevant highlights..

Nowak, a Navy Captain, is accused of accosting Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman, 30, in the parking lot of Orlando International Airport early Monday and spraying her with pepper spray. She told police she only wanted to talk with Shipman.

Nowak and Shipman were both "in a relationship" with Navy Cmdr. Bill Oefelein, another astronaut, according to a police report of the incident.

Nowak told police her relationship with Oefelein was "more than a working relationship and less than a romantic relationship."

Shipman has filed for a restraining order on Nowak in Brevard County, where Shipman lives and works, according to a copy of the order on the county's Web site.

In the paperwork for the order, Shipman said that Nowak had been stalking her for the past two months. A hearing for the order is scheduled for February 20.

Nowak, a married mother of three, made both of her court appearances shackled and wearing a dark-colored jumpsuit. In the afternoon session, for the attempted murder charge, she kept her eyes straight ahead....

According to the arresting affidavits, Nowak drove from Houston to Orlando after discovering Shipman's flight plans on Oefelein's computer.

She printed out detailed maps for the trip, which were found in her car during a police search, along with handwritten directions to Shipman's home. En route, she paid cash for hotel stays and registered under an assumed name.

Once in Orlando, according to the arresting affidavits, Nowak followed Shipman from the airport to her car in a satellite parking lot, where the confrontation took place about 3:45 a.m. Wearing a wig and glasses, Nowak approached Shipman as she got into her car and told her Nowak's boyfriend had not shown up to pick her up and she needed a ride.

Shipman refused, saying she would send help instead. When Nowak complained she couldn't hear Shipman and started to cry, Shipman opened her car window "about two inches" -- and Nowak sprayed pepper spray into the car, police said.

Shipman drove away and found police, who located Nowak at a bus stop. They also found a wig and a plastic bag containing a carbon dioxide-powered BB pistol in a nearby trash can, the report said.

Inside a bag Nowak was carrying, the officer found a tan trench coat, a new steel mallet, a new folding knife with a 4-inch blade, 3 to 4 feet of rubber tubing, several large plastic garbage bags and about $600 in cash, the report said.

Nowak admitted the details of Shipman's story, according to the police report, and permitted a search of her car.

Inside the car, police found an a half dozen latex gloves, MapQuest directions from Houston to Orlando International Airport, e-mails from Shipman to Oefelein, diapers Nowak said she wore to reduce stops along the highway and a letter indicating how much she loved Oefelein.

It is standard procedure for astronauts to wear diapers when they suit up for launch and re-entry.

The Name Has Changed

2007-02-06T17:49:00.000-05:00

But the game remains the same.

For those of you that have found me, I felt I needed to change some stuff around on this old baby since I have been neglecting it over the past couple of months. So today in order to spark some new interest in this little fella, I tried to figure out other blog addresses that I could use in order to simplifly the lengthy and hard to type angryfornoparticularreason.blogspot.com.

My attempted address names included:

prior.blogspot.com--- which appears to be a foreign blog that has not been used since 2004. I am actually not even sure what the one entry on this site says or means. Hopefully, it was a not warning about an invasion from another planet or a terrorist attack. Of course, if it was a terrorist attack, the terrorists probably would have warned us by using one of these:

(Yes, it's a cheap shot at the City of Boston, and yes, I understand the seriousness of the world we live in... BUT that looks like a lite brite to me people.)

angryrunner.blogspot.com-- which appears to be a blog created by a teacher who runs early in the morning. It also appears that he or she may or may not have died in a running related accident shortly after starting this blog as it appears that she too has not blogged since sometime in 2005 and has only 2 entries. Hopefully, her other commitments in life such as the teaching of America's youth were more successful in terms of their longevity and that she was killed quickly and painlessly on that early morning run.

And finally,

rockstarrunner.blogspot.com-- which as you can see does not exist, but I was prevented from choosing as my address by the Evil Wizard, Sorcerer, or Garden Gnome that is in charge of this whole scam. It appears that not only have they figured out how to intergrate this whole show with google, but it now appears that they have the technology to pre-scan applicants to determine whether or not the individual requesting a certain address is cool enough for that address. I was clearly not....

So finally, after losing motivation and caring about what the new address would be, I ended up with runninganger.blogspot.com, which you probably already know since you found me here. I hope to use this a bit more than the last one just so that I can infuse some creativity into my otherwise uncreative life. We will see how that works since I have pledged that before, but for now, you can find me here as I delve into the worlds of running, anger, and running while angry...

Hey this is Jose

2006-11-20T12:40:00.000-05:00

Last night in what has become a little bit of a tradition, I had 17 of my closest friends over for a little pre-thanksgiving turkey feast. For those that may not remember, the tradition started last year when I decided to cook a turkey for my family over the Thanksgiving holiday. As I had never cooked a turkey before, I decided that I needed to practice on my friends in preparation for the real Thanksgiving meal in order to determine if I could cook a turkey and to avoid killing my parents if things went horribly awry. Last year, the turkey turned out great even after a grease fire in the oven that filled the apartment at the 398 with an absurd amount of smoke forcing me to air out the entire place for over an hour.

This year, I went even bigger with a total of 17 guests and a 19 pound bird. Plus, I decided to brine the bastard adding a full day of preparation to my little endeavor. This part of the process was highlighted by my buddy, Shaun, passing out around 2 AM on a aerobed in the middle of my kitchen while me and my girlfriend placed the giant beast into the brine only inches from his head. (As well, there may or may not have been an appearance by Lucy, the cockroach, who may or may not have skampered across the counter coming uncomfortably close to the bird and the brine.)

Thankfully, once again everything turned out great with my friends really stepping up with an unbelievable assortment of foods to compliment the turkey including meat stuffing, stringbean casserole, mashed potatoes, breads, and pumpkin pie just to name a few. Throw in some amazing cranberry sugar poppy thingies and libations highlighted by Red Roosters and the evening was a giant success. (Even if I did end up calling my upstairs neighbor, Jose, when his name is actually Juan. Hopefully, the turkey was enough to make up for this minor faux pas. If not, I blame it all on the tall boys combined with sitting in a turkey fume infested apartment for over 12 hours on Sunday.)

Now, I need to start preparing for next year where I plan to deep fry a turkey and will try not to invent any new ethnic sounding names for my upstairs neighbor.

Useful Information

2006-11-20T12:20:00.000-05:00

In recent months, I have become out of mind addicted to this website, http://curbed.com/. Basically, it's a blog that covers all of the comings and going of the New York City real estate market. It's also a great source to figure out why there is suddenly a giant hole next to your apartment or why that entire old building disappeared to. Anyway, check the site out and learn something.

The Return of the King

2006-11-15T11:35:00.000-05:00

Actually it's just me, but since it has been awhile I figured a splashy headline was necessary. I have been MIA these last couple of months due to the ever evolving life that I lead.

For those that remember, the last time we spoke, I hated my job. Well I am happy to report that I still hate my job, but atleast I now get to do full time trials. As such, I get a case on a Wednesday the week before it is supposed to go to trial. Then, I prep the bad boy and take it to trial. It is a pretty sweet gig if I do say so myself.

This role started almost a month ago when I was given a trial against an old nemesis who I swear to god looks like Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons except with less hair on the top of his head. (He rocks a sweet pony tail.) Anyway, this attorney and I have had our share of terse moments in the past, which were highlighted by me once asking him if he would like to step outside the courtroom to settle this like men. (I believe at this point, I was a little too into Deadwood.) Of course, my office was fully aware of my past problems with the old dungeon master, but in their infinite wisdom, decided that my first trial should be against someone that I truly despise. A real good versus evil moment I guess.

Now usually, trials in my office last a week, maybe two, but never more than three unless of course you are me. Instead of the normal timeline for the case, I am happy to report that I spent the last four weeks on trial, which meant that basically, I spent four weeks with my good friend.

Now, four weeks of trial would be enough to drive any person insane, but then you add the fact that Comic Book tool is a snake who stretches the boundaries of the law at any time he can. As a result, I spent four weeks on edge waiting for the snake to pull some of his usual bull shit, which he did whenever he felt he needed to wiggle something in past the supervision of the Court. For example, having his client, thank each of the members of the jury everyday when they left Court. Something that is patently improper.

Anyway, the case itself involved a ceiling collapse in a building that was in such a state of disrepair that from the second I opened my mouth to when I closed in the first part of the case, the jury hated me. I mean this place had rats, maggots, plumbing issues, and ceilings with holes, a real shithole. And as a result of these deplorable conditions, the jury found in favor of the plaintiff in the liability portion of the trial. (Liability = whose fault was it and for the record, it took them five minutes to figure out that it was the City's fault, which is about four and half minutes longer than I thought it would take. I am just glad they actually left the court room to figure it out and didn't simply ask that I be hung right in the middle of the courtroom.)

Anyway, after losing the liability portion, we moved onto damages i.e. the show me the money portion of the trial. And this is where I figured i could make my biggest defense against the plaintiff as she claimed all these injuries like neck, back, and then carpal tunnel. The problem was that I knew that she had another accident and claimed the same injuries. Plus, her doctor was a crook and I intended to make him seem as much. Well, after a couple days of trial for that portion and with the plaintiff's attorney asking for a lot of money in his closing, the jury decided to give the plaintiff nothing. NOT ONE CENT... which meant that I had won my first case... Good had triumphed over Evil and Comic Book Guy had to go back to his lair to plot his next attack...

So after enjoying a couple of celebratory beverages, I am already locked and loaded for next week's case where someone fell and knocked out their front teeth, a true faceplant. Hopefully this blog does not become a memoir of my legal trials and tribulations but as soon as I join the million dollar club, I will be sure to let you guys know.

VMA's?

2006-09-01T01:32:00.000-04:00

Disclaimer: I am watching the replay of the VMA's at 1:30 in the AM after several hours spent at Crash Mansion on the Bowery with Free Beck's and ROCK AND ROLL.

Seriously, what the hell is going on with the MTV and the VMA's? I mean I have never been one to hold MTV to a hire standard other than a crap factory for music and steroidal exploitation, but at some point, recently. I must have stopped really paying attention to what the kids are in touch with because I have no idea what is going on right now. I mean I noticed The Beyonce doing some kind of angry songsy diatribe with loud megaphone type effects and Justin opening the show with his white boy seizure moves, but I have not recognized a single nominee or atleast I am choosing not to. (Pussy Cat Dolls are a gimic show on Sunset, how could they possibly win a VMA?) Moreover, I don't even recognize the categories anymore, I mean a DANCE? category? For what? Dancing? Jesus give me a couple of shots a jack, a bong hit, and a Mountain Dew and I will dance all night, excellently. Better than the Clit Cats atleast. I mean do they sign anything or are they super sweet strippers.

Sadly, I feel like I may finally be losing touch with MTV and the VMA's and as I think about it more, I am pretty okay with this part of growing up. (until of course, I have to raise a young girl of my own, and in that case, GAME OVER MAN.... GAME OVER!!!)

I need to start drinking on the job... atleast it would take the pain away...

2006-08-31T19:02:00.000-04:00

When we last left off faithtful readers, the buzzards were circling as the not-yet dead carcass of one of my co-workers lay helpless in the office of one of my bosses. Thankfully, some quick acting colleagues of mine led an inspired rescue mission and saved the young woman only moments before she would have been no doubt deemed deceased and promptly robbed of her worldly possessions. At last report, she had made it to the hospital and was released after alleviating her stomach woes by taking an apparently significant and life changing dump much to the chagrine of those hoping to make a little chip off her sudden stomach rebellion. I should have taken yesterday's little episode of "How NOT to Handle a Sick Coworker" as an omen that this week at the office was only going to get a bit more ridiculous and tedious as time went on and thusly called in sick this morning. This tactic I have employed several times this summer in order to avoid entering the hallowed halls of the place that makes me wish that I have never been born. Of course, being the fool that I am, I decided instead to show up some 45 minutes late to the office, another one of my new favorite tactics to demonstrate to the powers-that-be that I fucken loath them.

Unfortunately, the powers-that-be were waiting with the spite wagon, which meant that I was promptly informed that a colleague of mine had called in sick as she has several times this summer in her apparent attempt to mimic my tactic of avoidance, and that I would have handle her deposition. In addition, I started up my work email to find a nice little love note from my head boss asking me why I had not called in to inform them that I was running late and thus the deposition that I was to handle for the other sick colleague would now have to be handled by another poor sap. Of course, the powers-that-be managed to get a little dig in by stating that due to my apparent inability to call in and inform them that I was going to be late, I had forced another member of my office to have to handle MY DEPOSITION. (HEY CORRECTION SHIT HEADS, last night when I went home, I did not have a fucken deposition instead that was the responsibility of Little Miss-Call-In-Sick who apparently is free of your guilt inducing jitbag of an email...) While I did not have the time or the balls to inform my boss that the reason that I did not call in was because such a call would only be necessary if I:

A) Cared about my job; or

B) Gave two shits about whether or not the powers-that-be gave two shits about my whereabouts...

I did manage to track down the file before it was given to the other poor sap to handle. (While I may hate my job, my bosses, and the subject matter, I do not and will not piss of my colleagues. We are in the shit together... CHARLIE IN THE TREES...)

Anyway, as luck and kharma would have it, I then received the satisfaction of getting to sit through the seven hours of the questioning of a Ecuadorian man via Spanish interpreter about how he managed to have ladder he was standing on while cleaning asbestos collapse beneath him rendering him permanently disabled and with TMJ. Trust me, you really haven't lived until you spend a significant portion of your day trying to figure out how to explain through an interpreter that you want to know if said individual was able to get a boner before he had his traumatic little event since he now is as limp as I am after 12 beers. Not suprisingly, the words boner, hard-on, flesh rocket, do not apparently translate as easily as one would like but man did I try.

So after I walked out of the room after seven hours of incoherent responses and imperfect translations, I was further rewarded with a final kick in the nuts and asked why I had missed a meeting with one of my bosses at 2:30 this afternoon. Jeez guys, I don't know... Why don't you ask Mr. Perez and his limp penis... I am sure he can explain it better than I can... morons... On second thought, maybe, I will explain it by showing up tomorrow with a bottle of jack, a stripper, and no pants on... eat shit and die fuckbags.

Is this a sign...

2006-08-30T16:31:00.000-04:00

Currently at my job there is a girl lying in my boss' office writhing in pain due to some mysterious stomach ailment that has gripped her being since coming to work today. Apparently, she cannot go home because she does not have the necessary leave time that would allow her to take the rest of the day off. Thankfully, my bosses are some of the most compassionate people on the Earth so I am sure that they are currently either helping her out of the office to a car service that they have called for her or have called the necessary medical personnel in case her little tummy thing is an exploding organ or something of that nature. Oh wait, my bosses are actually giant cocksuckers so instead of what I wrote above, they are probably just standing around poking this girl with a stick hoping that she will die so that they can steal her money and give her body to the vampires that work in the Title Search Office.

Even better is that this girl has been working here for less than a week but somehow her stomach has realized how fucken unbelievably shitty this place is and correctly decided to rebel against its host. If only my own body had taken similar action three years ago, so that I would not still find myself here, treading water, and hating my own professional existence. Sadly, my body did not take such measure, but for this newbie, there is hope. Run free little one.. head towards the light... DO NOT LOOK BACK...

And yes, I am jaded and absolutely hate my job... and soon you will too...

Tis the Season

2006-07-02T14:16:00.000-04:00

For tons of weddings...

Just wanted to drop a quick note while I am here in Brooklyn regarding the craziness that is the wedding season that I am currently in the grips of... Last weekend was Charleston.. This week is two at the Florentine Gardens in NJ... next weekend, a much deserved break.. Then to Chicago for another.... another break weekend... Down the Shore for another Jersey bash... Break... Then finally one in Denver, CO... Oh and throw in an engagement celebration for the Popstar...(one of the happiest events that I will ever be a part of.) And so there goes my summer... one spent watching my closest friends tie the knot... and although I am complaining... I am doing so only mildly because no matter the expense or the weekends lost to weddings halls, churches, and hotels, I get to watch people that I truly care about get hitched....

and that makes it all worth it.