Today's Winner is....

Madame X: Daughter Y would be 3 for 3, but she made it all the way to the bathroom but just couldnt get her clothes off in time and pee pee'd on the floor in front of the potty!!! she gets an A+ for effort!!!

From Today's Facebook status update world of the absurd, we get this little number, which takes us through the daily pissings of the young daughter, who for the last week or so has been fighting an ongoing battle of making it to the toilet in time. Today, like many of us, she apparently had brought her daily record to 2-2 until this little disaster happened. (and yes as adults, we must admit that there are nights where we wake up panicking and realizing that we only have a matter of seconds to make it to the bathroom before we too piss our pants.)

Anyway, even though, I am now keeping a weekly scorecard to in order to calculate Daughter Y's weekly average (she currently hitting around .667 for the week), I just hope that this does not move onto bigger and shall we say more "solid" coverage in the weeks to come.

And as always, I hope this ends up somewhere down the road in Daughter Y's baby book so she can be regailed with her loving mother's daily updates of her successes and failures in the great pee pants wars of 2009.

We talking about baseball... man... baseball..

So Allen Iverson once groused about the fact that he was getting shit for not attending practice... it lead to a press conference where he went on for awhile about the ridiculousness of being condemned for not attending something that was in his mind meaningless (I could post the link but seriously have you seen it).... In my life, I consider the fact that the Red Sox cannot win a fucken baseball game to be on the level of Mr. Iverson's concerns about ridiculousness...

Here's the thing, the Sox have lost five straight and kind of look like they not only have never played baseball before but also like they are spending every post game staring down the bottle... I know they are the lovable losers (or is that the Mets, who apparently all have AIDS), but i mean jesus christ guys.. BUNT... seriously at this point, I just want to see you hit the ball....and get on base... My expectations are not big, but if I got the idea that anyone still gave a shit or was not resembling a meth clinic patient, then I would be more keen to the idea of following this team for the remainder of the season instead of worrying about this glass of wine in my hand will soon puncture my flat screen...

So Red Sox, just like practice, we talking about baseball man, baseball.... it's a game involving a bat and a ball where you try (and here is something astounding) to hit the fucken ball... so (mimicking ass slapping) get out there and figure that shiz out...

i beg of you.

WTF

Kevin Federline

Shocks Fans Over New Size

My question here is not that he got fat cause clearly he somehow pulled two of his remaining three brain cells together to conceive the plan to marry Britney Spears, get her pregnant, and then divorce her in order to ensure that he had money to eat for the rest of his life. No that is not the question.. Instead the question is.. WHO ARE HIS FANS? I mean seriously, does he have a career? I mean what does he do? I know he tried to rap but I kind of figured that was a single album and then him and Vanilla Ice retired to Provincetown together. But hey apparently he has fans or atleast some cult that follows him around... and now they are shocked that the former dancer turned Mr. Spears turned pseudo failed rapper now spends his days munching on twinkies, wearing XXXL shirts, and playing golf... But hey we all have to have our causes.,..

So for shame Mr. Federline... you fat bastard.. for shame!

Twitter

Here is how i roll.. (insert the name Dumb Ass in front of each so as to read Dumb Ass says....)

1. will now retire from running... http://bit.ly/iy5DO4:58 PM Jun 30th from web
2. is done with this week.4:00 PM Jun 30th from web
3. damn damn damn4:29 PM Jun 28th from web
4. 2-1.. time to dig in.3:41 PM Jun 28th from web
5. LANDON DONOVAN FINALLY SHOWS UP IN AN INTERNATIONAL SOCCER MATCH!3:01 PM Jun 28th from web
6. grind him!2:52 PM Jun 28th from web
7. DEMPSEY DEFLECTS FOR A GOAL!!!2:44 PM Jun 28th from web
8. flush Kaka!2:13 PM Jun 28th from web
9. wonders if the second round of the nba draft should just be resolved by cage match style elimination2:46 PM Jun 26th from web
10. Don't Stop Til You Get Enough11:08 PM Jun 25th from web
11. this description of Hasheem Thabeet is dead on "the projected number two pick has about as much offense as Screech Powers on a first date."10:38 AM Jun 25th from web
12. Five Game Lead.11:52 AM Jun 24th from web
13. Midtown Rocks! http://bit.ly/du32o12:26 PM Jun 20th from web
14. likes his chances.. http://bit.ly/2bLojK11:47 PM Jun 18th from web
15. thinks the U.S. Open will be finished sometime next week.11:57 AM Jun 18th from web
16. just found out a new Jennifer Aniston Movie is being filmed outside his apartment tonight... where is my Angelina Jolie poster?9:46 PM Jun 17th from web
17. bite me Joe Buck: http://bit.ly/16HYG91:55 PM Jun 16th from web
18. became a fan of whipe out today. judge away!8:10 PM Jun 14th from web
19. is glad the sox got to use the broom... bring on the phillies...3:28 PM Jun 12th from web
20. has three days until the Brooklyn Half... and thinks that Stan Van Gundy is taking Mike Brown to coaching school.... (two topics one post)12:45 PM May 27th from web
21. porkchops or seagulls?4:50 PM May 1st from web
22. expects more out of Jon Lester10:47 AM Apr 9th from web
23. You are disgusting11:54 AM Mar 28th, 2007 from web

Is Bringing It Back To The Old School

Cause I am an old fool that's so cool?

On a night where I find myself remembering the last year and wondering how it could possibly been a year since she passed, I have spent the night having a few beers and looking at ye old blog, which apparently started in 2005 probably during my sullen dark period or some esoteric shit that I used as an excuse to start a blog. Back then, I clearly thought that I had a lot to say as my pieces (of shit) tended to roll on for a page or two where I eventually made my point or I never really did. And I definitely did a lot more self analysis about where I wanted to go or where I was and how I could get out of there. The posts back then took several themes... excessive drinking.... running.... excessive drinking after running.. and how I hated my job... And no matter what the topic man they rambled!

And today, I would love to say that my writing has improved or I write things that more people read but in reality, my posts have turned into short and brazen critiques on people's facebook status updates or just quick hits about what actually goes on in here. Which I believe is a product of my and the rest of societies fixation on things like Twitter, gchat, and Facebook updates to keep our newly rekindled friendships abreast of our daily pissings...

But the fact of the matter is that I am still here and so is this site... and I guess on a night that will lead to day of reflection, I am glad that I took the time to keep writing over these past four years.... And sure that's a giant pat on the back, but nobody reads this thing anyway.

Still running with anger.

Rain Delay.

Today's Three Reasons Why I Love NYC

On my commute today, I witnessed the following:

1. A hot girl with armpit hair on the L train.

2. Two police horses in a police carrying thing with the back end open so you could see how much the horses shit. Answer: ALOT

3. A guy trying to stuff an English Bulldog into a duffel bag in order to take it on the subway.

Thank you NYC!

How do I say this lightly!

I hope this person dies....

Madame X: thats right baby...cowboy up!!

Person X completed the quiz "Which position are you?" with the result Cowgirl.

that's right.

You know, I know what this person looks like.... i now have a pretty clear picture of what she looks like during sex and I am also now sterile. There is too much information and then there is the kind of information that I should be able to sue this person over... I just wish i was a lawyer.

And as a final thought, you know there are times in my life where I wonder if Facebook has reached its limit in inducing daily sheer stupidity.

Thankfully, I am proven wrong on the daily.

Monday and Jesus Loves Facebook

Madame X is so overwhelmed with love for her Savior today.

Weird cause I just talked to Jesus, which I do on the daily when I am taking a dump and he just wanted me to let you know that first off if you really think he wastes his time checking facebook to see who does or does not love him, then he really just doesn't want you to be part of the cult (err i mean) clan anymore... Seriously, he says he has a lot and he means alot of important shit to do and facebook is not one of them...  Oh and he wanted me to let you know that you are going straight to hell..  cheers!

Cause Wednesday is Crazy Pants Day

Mr. X says: Its offical as of today, I am divorced from the exwife who commited adultry. It is a GREAT day.

Well, I am glad that we got that cleared up. I mean nothing says too much information then declaring to the world that a) your divorce is final and b) that your ex wife (who probably most of your Facebook friends know) committed adultery... Kudos fella… Maybe we can get her to change her Facebook status so that she equally celebrates the finalized divorce with a little nugget about you beating her. Then, all parties will be able to participate in a new legal proceeding for libel because clearly, you guys have not had enough court time together.

(P.S. when posting such a celebratory declaration to the world, one should probably consider using this thing they have on all computers called spell check that way people will only read your status and think your asshole and not an stupid asshole.)