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Here is how i roll.. (insert the name Dumb Ass in front of each so as to read Dumb Ass says....)

1. will now retire from running... http://bit.ly/iy5DO4:58 PM Jun 30th from web
2. is done with this week.4:00 PM Jun 30th from web
3. damn damn damn4:29 PM Jun 28th from web
4. 2-1.. time to dig in.3:41 PM Jun 28th from web
5. LANDON DONOVAN FINALLY SHOWS UP IN AN INTERNATIONAL SOCCER MATCH!3:01 PM Jun 28th from web
6. grind him!2:52 PM Jun 28th from web
7. DEMPSEY DEFLECTS FOR A GOAL!!!2:44 PM Jun 28th from web
8. flush Kaka!2:13 PM Jun 28th from web
9. wonders if the second round of the nba draft should just be resolved by cage match style elimination2:46 PM Jun 26th from web
10. Don't Stop Til You Get Enough11:08 PM Jun 25th from web
11. this description of Hasheem Thabeet is dead on "the projected number two pick has about as much offense as Screech Powers on a first date."10:38 AM Jun 25th from web
12. Five Game Lead.11:52 AM Jun 24th from web
13. Midtown Rocks! http://bit.ly/du32o12:26 PM Jun 20th from web
14. likes his chances.. http://bit.ly/2bLojK11:47 PM Jun 18th from web
15. thinks the U.S. Open will be finished sometime next week.11:57 AM Jun 18th from web
16. just found out a new Jennifer Aniston Movie is being filmed outside his apartment tonight... where is my Angelina Jolie poster?9:46 PM Jun 17th from web
17. bite me Joe Buck: http://bit.ly/16HYG91:55 PM Jun 16th from web
18. became a fan of whipe out today. judge away!8:10 PM Jun 14th from web
19. is glad the sox got to use the broom... bring on the phillies...3:28 PM Jun 12th from web
20. has three days until the Brooklyn Half... and thinks that Stan Van Gundy is taking Mike Brown to coaching school.... (two topics one post)12:45 PM May 27th from web
21. porkchops or seagulls?4:50 PM May 1st from web
22. expects more out of Jon Lester10:47 AM Apr 9th from web
23. You are disgusting11:54 AM Mar 28th, 2007 from web

Is Bringing It Back To The Old School

Cause I am an old fool that's so cool?

On a night where I find myself remembering the last year and wondering how it could possibly been a year since she passed, I have spent the night having a few beers and looking at ye old blog, which apparently started in 2005 probably during my sullen dark period or some esoteric shit that I used as an excuse to start a blog. Back then, I clearly thought that I had a lot to say as my pieces (of shit) tended to roll on for a page or two where I eventually made my point or I never really did. And I definitely did a lot more self analysis about where I wanted to go or where I was and how I could get out of there. The posts back then took several themes... excessive drinking.... running.... excessive drinking after running.. and how I hated my job... And no matter what the topic man they rambled!

And today, I would love to say that my writing has improved or I write things that more people read but in reality, my posts have turned into short and brazen critiques on people's facebook status updates or just quick hits about what actually goes on in here. Which I believe is a product of my and the rest of societies fixation on things like Twitter, gchat, and Facebook updates to keep our newly rekindled friendships abreast of our daily pissings...

But the fact of the matter is that I am still here and so is this site... and I guess on a night that will lead to day of reflection, I am glad that I took the time to keep writing over these past four years.... And sure that's a giant pat on the back, but nobody reads this thing anyway.

Still running with anger.

Rain Delay.

Today's Three Reasons Why I Love NYC

On my commute today, I witnessed the following:

1. A hot girl with armpit hair on the L train.

2. Two police horses in a police carrying thing with the back end open so you could see how much the horses shit. Answer: ALOT

3. A guy trying to stuff an English Bulldog into a duffel bag in order to take it on the subway.

Thank you NYC!

How do I say this lightly!

I hope this person dies....

Madame X: thats right baby...cowboy up!!

Person X completed the quiz "Which position are you?" with the result Cowgirl.

that's right.

You know, I know what this person looks like.... i now have a pretty clear picture of what she looks like during sex and I am also now sterile. There is too much information and then there is the kind of information that I should be able to sue this person over... I just wish i was a lawyer.

And as a final thought, you know there are times in my life where I wonder if Facebook has reached its limit in inducing daily sheer stupidity.

Thankfully, I am proven wrong on the daily.

Monday and Jesus Loves Facebook

Madame X is so overwhelmed with love for her Savior today.

Weird cause I just talked to Jesus, which I do on the daily when I am taking a dump and he just wanted me to let you know that first off if you really think he wastes his time checking facebook to see who does or does not love him, then he really just doesn't want you to be part of the cult (err i mean) clan anymore... Seriously, he says he has a lot and he means alot of important shit to do and facebook is not one of them...  Oh and he wanted me to let you know that you are going straight to hell..  cheers!

Cause Wednesday is Crazy Pants Day

Mr. X says: Its offical as of today, I am divorced from the exwife who commited adultry. It is a GREAT day.

Well, I am glad that we got that cleared up. I mean nothing says too much information then declaring to the world that a) your divorce is final and b) that your ex wife (who probably most of your Facebook friends know) committed adultery... Kudos fella… Maybe we can get her to change her Facebook status so that she equally celebrates the finalized divorce with a little nugget about you beating her. Then, all parties will be able to participate in a new legal proceeding for libel because clearly, you guys have not had enough court time together.

(P.S. when posting such a celebratory declaration to the world, one should probably consider using this thing they have on all computers called spell check that way people will only read your status and think your asshole and not an stupid asshole.)

Unnecessary Facebook Status Update of the Day

Person X is sad. The person I was supposed to donate my bone marrow to has died.

My thoughts:

Um, way to depress me. I am sorry but this is a complete misuse of a status update and probably a HIPAA violation. Way to ruin my day Person X, way to ruin my day.

More Facebook status madness

Lady X says: someone please remind me why I had 3 kids in 4.5 yrs!!!!!!!

My answer:

Cause you were a giant whore in high school and apparently, you have continued in that role straight into adulthood...

Oh and here's another one:

Lady Y pretty much makes milk just on the one side now.

What the FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I mean sweet jesus that is disgusting. No one and I mean NO FUCKEN ONE wants to know about your ability or inability to make breast milk. And for that matter no one wants to suck on your boobs... not even your kids who I am happy to report can now read and are HORRIFIED that you posted about your breast milk making problem...

DISCRETION PEOPLE COME ON!

Ever since I was little I have watched Saturday Night Live to the point where sunday afternoons in teh summer were spent watching the previous night's show at dinner with my family.  AND for years, it has been my dream to go watch SNL (for lack of better word) live.  I mean I have watched this show when it sucked, when it was mediocre, when it had Fallon, when it sucked so more, and now am basking in its current glory... BUT I have never got to go..

And then this conversation happened....

12:26 PM Greg: ew're going to see SNL tonight

 me: u are?

  FUCK YOU

 Greg: yeah gfoign to sit in the writer's room

 me: seriously

 Greg: suck my dick now

 me: i really hate u

  u dont even like that show

  neither of u do

12:27 PM Greg: i like it more than i don't

 me: I have been committed since day one

  this is bull shit

  THE ONLY PERSON THAT DESERVES TO GO IS ME

  GOD DAMN YOU

 Greg: carl fengler is going

  rap your brain around THTT

 me: SERIOSULY

  i am sick

  i am canceling watching the game

  go have fun

 Greg: haha

 me: watch the game with Fang

12:28 PM Fuck you

  FUCK YOU

  FUCK

  YOU

 Greg: i invited him to your place

  that's cool right?

12:29 PM me: no

  why wasnt i invited

  when did bobby graduate

12:30 PM this is crap

  total crap

12:31 PM Greg: you are taking it well...

 me: its hrose shit

  thats all

  i am being honest

  u want me to lie about it

  ?

 Greg: didn't reqlize you'd be so jealous

12:32 PM me: how could u not

  ?

 Greg: you can take my spot

 me: ha

  no

  just let me stew

12:33 PM Greg: my balls are stew

 me: ya

  its ok

  seth rogen

  next week is Efron

  then Timberlake

  then Ferrell

12:34 PM u would have known that if u listened to the Bill HAder podcast that I listened to

  cause thats what real fans do

  oh wait right u just "get" to go to SNL

 Greg: truth

 me: look at me

  I watch the show every once and awhile

12:35 PM DID YOU SUFFER AND BLEED WITH THEM

  DID YOU!

And so once again, I am not going but my buddy Greg who is a casual fan at best is now going.... So to reiterate... FUCK YOU GREG!

Random Facebook Thought

Since today is a day of Facebook fueled banter, I just had the following thought:

Fact: People set pictures of their kids as their profile pictures on Facebook.

Fact: People often alternate between children if they have more than one.

Query: If Shawn Kemp or Travis Henry have a Facebook page, what do they do?

My First Potty: Entry 2

Person X just funded 8 seconds of peacekeeping in troubled regions! -- Play free games to Save the Planet!

So let me get this one straight. All we ever had to do in order to assist peacekeeping in troubled regions was to play a game on Facebook? Really?

Now you will have to excuse me while I put in a phone call to the United Nations, NATO, The Hague, and all the other international peacekeeping bodies out there and tell them to wrap it up... Facebook has got this one covered...

(Note: I am not sure the Hague is a peacekeeping body... but you get my drift.)

My First Potty

As we all know, Facebook is a phenomena that has swept our nation. One cannot go a day without discussing the new format change, joining somebody's mob, or why the fuck people believe that lil' green patches are saving the rain forest.

I admit that I too have fallen victims to its powers and am regularly on the site updating my status (20 times a day) and checking up on people from my past. In fact, I am such a Facebook whore that my friends have recruited me to friend as many people as possible in order to keep tabs on all of our former classmates.

As a result of my duties, I have become obsessed with people's status updates and the lack of etiquette that many people exhibit when commenting on their daily life. For example, I do not think it is appropriate or safe for someone to let the world know that you are going on vacation for three weeks. (and I am guilty of this one as well)... Let's play this one out... what if a claimed friend who has been using the site to stalk you (read me) sees this update and decides that they are now going to go over to your place and rob you or use your house to film a porno??

Anyway, the updates that really get me are the ones that contain some ridiculous statement about what their child is doing.. I really don't fucken care... Moreover, I don't fucken care about breast feeding or how you're are tired of doing it.. Finally, I don't fucken care nor do I want you to comment on my facebook and tell me how you would love to run as much as I do but you decided to have 17 children... More power to you but don't use your worthless snot nose brats as the reason that you have become fat and lazy... It doesn't fly with me...

And so, I have decided that I will use this entry to compile all of the ridiculous status updates that I come across on a daily basis... So sit back, relax...and enjoy the douchebaggery:

Entry One-My kid and his shit fetish:

I can't believe it....but INSERT BABY NAME just pooped in the potty for the first time!!! All on his own and then he came to get me! I'm so HAPPY!! :).

Analysis: Ok this one is way too much information. More power to the kid for squeezing off his first number 2 in the Porcelain God. I am sure it's a tremendous source of pride for you, your family, and maybe even your closest of friends... But seriously, the rest of us do not care if he shit in the bowl, on the floor, or in your mouth... get over it.

Sorry immediately after I posted this I found out that someone had commented on the post and wrote the following:

Way to go- You're such a big boy to go poop on the potty! Good timing too, cause you did while your gramma is there. Maybe we should start calling her poopy gramma!

Um we do realize that the kid did not write this right? We know he cannot write? We also know that Gramma does not want to be called poopy gramma because of that whole incident in Thailand? The world has lost its proverbial mind.

One final thought since i had to analyze this issue further... Apparently, we have a prodigy on our hands.. Based on the comment above, one can only assume that the kid has the ability to read, write, and pose as his mother on Facebook. I am not sure what evil genius this child will grow up to be but I am putting my money on the fact that he will go by the moniker, The Poop Avenger.

Your Birthday

Last night we celebrated your birthday but you were not there.  Atleast that's what I thought when the night began... It felt weird to be at the old spot with my old seat and our old bartender serving me wine... I felt alone and was sad since I wanted you sitting there next to me. It was your birthday and you deserved to be there....

But then as the night went on...your friends and my friends filled the place with laughter and tears, I realized that you were there all along... sitting right next to me smiling with that smile and laughing with your laugh...And so instead of dreading your birthday, we CELEBRATED your birthday.

I love you.

The Simplest Things

Life can get away from you if you let it. My life recently got pretty far away from me to the point that I was not sure if there was ever any going back. I lost focus, I lost love, I lost heart, I lost soul, and I lost purpose. I let myself be led to a very dark place.

And then, I got lucky. I was lucky because a series of events reminded me why I am still here, what my edge in life is, and what my focus is...

Man did I get lucky.