Harry Potter and the Asian Scrub

I need to call myself out before I crash for the evening. A couple of blogs ago, I criticized a woman who was watching that artist jump off the museum in Chicago as his comment on the 9/11 attacks. Her comment on the event was:

"It was fabulous," said Darlene Schuff, 56. "I just wanted to be a part of it. It's a happening."

And then last Friday night, I found myself heading out to purchase Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince and thus participating in a "happening" that "I just wanted to be a part of." And while, in my mind I can see a clear distinction because I just really wanted to read the damn book as soon as possible, I also understand that in a way, I criticized this woman for wanting to experience a happening. And thus, although I also think that Ms. Schuff probably finds herself at many a happening these days when she is not teeing off at the club, I have to acknowledge that my previous post now wreaks of hypocrisy.

As a result, Ms. Schuff if you are out there, please feel free to come and challenge me a Bloodsport-esque battle till one of us says, "Uncle!".

It's the least I can do.... BRING IT BITCH!!!

Donkey Punch

First and foremost, this blog has nothing to do with the aforementioned Donkey Punch. Although, if you ever want to really get in good with a lady, just let her know that by the end of the evening you hope that you can give her a Donkey Punch topped off with a Cleveland Steamer. I am not speculating about the success of this tactic, I am practically guaranteeing it. I mean ladies love when you assault and degrade them during the same bout with intercourse.

Note: For those of you who read the above and actually thought I was serious are: A) Seriously drunk or B) Dumb like Dude Fuck Dumb.

Note: Dude Fuck dumb is what my friends and I used to say the stereotypical jocks would say to each other when discussing the vocabulary and conversation content of the stereotypical jock.

For example:

Jock 1: Dude!!!
Jock 2: FUCK!!!

It is all truly clear, isn't it?

Anyway, I figured I would drop a blog for the homies this evening since for the first time in a long time, I have nothing to do on a Friday night and have actual free time. So here is the update...

Note: Make sure you read the following with your pants off...

First, my trip to Chicago was an unbelievable success. As stated, I traveled with my closest friends in the whole world. I mean these are the people that I fight with for five minutes and then just laugh at whatever we were fighting about. But as stated the trip was great as the drive both ways proved to be painless and the wedding itself was amazing. If I did not state this before, the wedding was an Indian wedding, and as a result, the ceremony itself was so beautiful and chock full of symbolism. Afterwards, the reception introduced me to a new category of dancing, Indian Dancing, which involves levels of sweating that I did not believe were humanly possible. I personally think that this saved each of us from being horribly hungover for the drive back. Plus, Dizzle got some nookie which proves he is not a gay faggot. (not that there is anything wrong with that)

Since then, I have been trying to actually have a summer, which has included a trip to Jones Beach and a bonafide summer picnic party which is written about by Savage. (see my links) Further, I started to train for my second marathon in October...

And thus for now, I am out like you read about...