Maybe

Maybe one day you make a goal.  And maybe as time passes you are suddenly only days before that goal and you start to get scared and sad... because you know that you are on the doorstep of accomplishing that goal... and maybe that causes you  to worry about the littlest things that may prevent you from accomplishing that goal....  AND THEN once you get over the scared, maybe you are sad... because no matter how many miles you run or how hard you try, she won't be there at the end to see you finish... she will still be gone... taken way too soon... you will still go to bed alone at night.... and you will still struggle to figure out why... 

And maybe the you is me.

Random Anecdote

So my friend was telling me today about her experience at the DMV this morning. In a demonstration of how my mind works, the following story came to mind from my freshman year of college

In the fall of my first semester of college, I went to see Weezer at the Roseland Ballroom in New York City. The show was amazing, but afterwards my buddies and I decided it would be fun to get into some New York City style trouble.

As a result, immediately after the show, we went to a 25 cent peep show place in the Times Square area. In 1996, these places still existed as it was the era right before the 25 cent peeps were eliminated entirely and Disney took over the entire area.

The place was your standard dirty mess of a store with an adult video store on the first floor and booths for viewing on the second. After climbing the stairs to the viewing area, I put my quarter in, up went the screen, and I came face to face with this giant naked black woman. Shocked and speechless, I continued to stare without a word coming from my mouth. Then, in attempt to not look this woman in the eye or at her any longer, I began to let my eyes take in all that was the peep show viewing room. (a colossal mistake) At which point, I noticed over her shoulder another larger naked black woman sitting on a stool in the corner behind eating Chinese food. Clearly, she was on a break, and clearly, she was hungry.

Fortunately or unfortunately since there were no safe places to look in the viewing area, my eyes were not able to linger as the woman in front of me said in a loud BOOMING, "Well what you want me to do for you..."

As I cringed and stepped away from the screen, she then took stock of the young fresh face standing in front of her noticing that I had a shaved head. Apparently, my haircut set off some kind of alarm in her mind because she soon followed her initial inquiry with "What's wrong with you, you some kind of racist... you a skinhead?"

Once again, unable to speak, I slunk further back towards the door… praying that the screen would soon close. Mercifully, the screen closed a few short seconds later… and i ran down the stairs and out the front door where my friends were on the sidewalk with equally terrified faces…

And so that is exactly how I imagine my friends trip to the DMV went this morning… shocked silence… a face filled with terror… an immediate and expedient exit when she was done with her business…and possible a little nudity...