What would you do...

If everything that you spent the last five months or so working for seemed to be slipping away?

If something that once seemed to be achievable now seemed impossible?

Well, if you were me, you would be pretty pissed off, really disappointed, and desparately trying to figure out what the mother fucken next step is going to be, which is kind of even funnier or just a giant kick in the balls by irony since every step I take with my left leg these days results in jarring pain through my left ankle, shin, and knee. (And yes, I am going to whine, complain, and generally vent for the next couple of paragraphs. If you don't like it, go the fuck to hell because I need to do this before I totally lose my mind... and kill again... Note: Rain Delay's statements do represent the views of Blogspot.com and cannot be used in a court of law unless of course he does kill again. At which point, each of your were on notice and can give some weird statement to CNN, Fox News (doubtful), or whatever shit bag news broadcast that covers the whole ordeal and tell them how he told you all that he would kill again... unless of course I kill you, and in that case, GAME OVER MAN... GAME OVER!!! )

And you know what, I did it all to myself and that is why I am pissed off and disappointed. Back in January when I decided to train for this thing, I promised myself that if I got injured or more importantly started to feel like I was getting injured, I would take the time off, rehab, rest, and then get back on the horse. Of course, as the weeks went on and no real injuries arose, I began to feel more and more invincible and so I pressed a bit and overtrained (a classic mistake for a runner).

It was this false confidence and my desire to qualify for Boston that distracted me from listening to my body and so when my left leg started hurting shortly after the half marathon, I continued to run hard convincing myself that it was simply shin splints. (Pride, I fucken hate pride.) Making matters worse, the week after the Half should have been an easy one and yet in order to get all of my runs in, I ran consecutive days (up to four in a row I believe), which resulted in undue strain on my body, a body that no matter what I keep telling myself, really cannot handle more than two days in a row. This type of cavalier training continued for several weeks as I pressed through an 18 mile run, a 16 mile run, and finally a 20 mile run. After each, the pain was there as I could barely walk for the next couple of days and it sucked...

But I ignored my body, took Advil, iced, stretched, and pressed on, lying to myself that all of it would go away ignoring the fact that I was now walking with a limp as the pain in my shin extended down to my ankle and up to my knee.... Funny thing is that no matter how much denial I threw out there, I could never escape the fact that the pain was real and not going anywhere.

Last week, I gimped my way through three runs and prepared for a 15 miler on Friday, and then a strange thing happened, my body refused to run anymore. And so I stopped, walked home, sat on the couch for a bit, and realized that no matter how hard I wanted to keep going, I was going to have shut it down and try to heal so that I can actually run the marathon.

So here I sit typing this with two icebags on my left leg and pain that has remained even after taking three days off... I have not a clue as to when the next time that I will run again is... and I am not sure writing about it helped or that I am not going to go completely insane in the next couple of days because I am totally fucked...or that I have learned a great lesson here because I am starting to get the itch to pop some Advil and just hit the pavement givign a giant middle finger to the pain no matter what the cost...

atleast I still have Jesus... oh wait no I don't...

GAME OVER MAN... GAME OVER!!!!*




*The preceding was brought to you by the letters D, R, A, M, A, Q, U, E, E, and N...