"Got some fireworks to put in the boys' stockings--they are going to LOVE Santa (and my parenting skills get better with each passing year:))
Now, admittedly, I am not a parent and probably in some states it is illegal for me to be within 100 feet of a child, but I am pretty confident that providing your children, who appear to be no older than five years old, with low level explosives is a horrible idea.
Further, when Tiny Tim's hand gets blown the fuck off as the result of your "decision" to arm him like Al Quaeda, I do not think that this whole Santa defense that you have conveniently worked into your Facebook status is going to hold up in a court of law. I mean yes the kids are going to LOVE Santa but I guarantee the ladies at the State Penn are going to LOVE your sweet ass so much more...
And finally, I love how you openly mock yourself-- assuming that last part about your parenting skills is sarcasm--and your decision to give them fireworks. At least when it's all over and Six Finger Samuel is out of the hospital, we can have a good laugh about it...I mean what is life without humor?
Merry Christmas indeed.
