How Much You Bench Biznatch

So I joined a gym, Maxim Gym in Williamsburg, to be precise. And I am not quite sure how I feel about it. From my previous blog on running, I hope that I made it clear that I really enjoy being outside, facing the elements, and exploring this City by foot. I have always hated gyms because I hate what I view as the gym culture, which mainly involves giant dudes who spend their days at the gym and are on workout number 6 for the day when I walk my out of shape ass in around 9 PM. Most of all, however, I hate lifting weights and using machines where you never go anywhere...

But I had to do it, I had to go to the proverbial dark side because in the last week, Brooklyn and the rest of New York has been hotter than some country in Western Africa as we have apparently decided that this year we will skip Spring and head right into the season known as Hell. I think back in the old days, this season was called Summer, but I still have to do some research on that issue. By the way, this rapid increase in temperature should serve as lesson to each of us to shut our fucken mouths and not complain as we all did a couple of weeks ago when it looked like summer would never come and it was cold. Sometimes, you get what you asked for and sometimes, Mother Nature straps it on and fucks you doggy style with no lube as she has decided to do in the last week. Live and learn people, live and learn.

But I digress.

As a result of this heat, I can run outside only at night or in the early morning around 5 AM. Running in the AM, however, is not an option because I wake up at 8 so there is no chance in that happening. Even with the night runs, I can only do this three times a week since my legs have decided that since I forced them to run that marathon in April that they are rebelling and remind me of this fact by having me endure some form of pain with every step.

And so tonight, I went to the gym for the first time in over a year and some months. And what I realized is that Williamsburg hipsters have one redeeming factor, they totally erase the potential for any form of gym culture neutralizing any of the problems that I discussed above. I mean sure there were a couple of dudes who had arms the size of my quad, and yes, when they thought I was staring at them, they appeared to snarl and lick their lips as if I was a juicy steak or atleast that evening's syringe. (Note: I stare not because I love, but mainly for self-preservation mentally calculating the amount of time to the exit and their potential pounce time). The majority of the gym goers, however, were normal run of the mill hipsters, who though covered with tatoos and piercings, wearing vintage t-shirts, and rocking the latest dirty haircut, just wanted to get their workouts in and be done with it. There were no egos, no pose downs, and limited testosterone. While this almost made me reconsider my entire opinion of hipsters (but not quite), it definitely made me realize that I will be back to my gym in the near future as I work to lose my own neck and bench more than you!!!