Sheepshead Bay III: Rock Bottom

Sadly, instead of actually going to the deposition, I decided that since it was well after one in the afternoon, I could simply find the nearest bar and spend the next hour or so in order experiencing some hard drinking with my Russian brethren. (Yes, there is a little Russian in me..chuckle, chuckle...) In reality that is not what happened, but like Sylvestor Stallone or the last couple episodes of Seinfeld, I want to squeeze as much fucken juice out of this series of entries as I can even if it means that no one has read my blog in weeks.... which is actually very true.

Anyway, after the Dunkin Donuts, I arrived at the location of my deposition and immediately found myself in the home of this 300 + pound gentleman and his equally portly wife, who had managed to decorate their apartment as only people who are of that size can meaning that they had EVERYTHING.. including but not limited to excessive amounts of exercise equipment, game systems, electrical equipment, and um... oh yeah BOXES... just boxes of whatever EVERYWHERE... along with substantial water damage.. a bed in their living room.. and no care for where they hung their laundry out to dry.

And since, I was fifteen minutes early, I got to spend my time talking to these people... who of course were the nicest couple on the earth... which is why I feel really bad about what I wrote in the paragraph above...I mean as I sat there, they told me their entire life's stories while continuing to make sure I was ok, needed food, water, or anything else i needed including their first born if they felt it would make me happy... making it worse was the fact that the witness himself was a man of failing health but endless spirit.. And so there I sat in the middle of Sheepshead Bay feeling like I was visiting family instead of performing the arduous task of an off site deposition...

Of course, my sympathy ended when my opposition finally arrived twenty minutes later and announced that there was no court reporter ordered meaning that the deposition could not go forward...Which when taken a step further is why I went back to this same household a week later last Thursday and experienced the same charm but a veritable indifference to my surroundings...Really you lose all the magic of a harmless Brooklyn adventure when you are forced to reenact the same sojourn you took into the outer limits the week before... And the coffee is just not the same.

Thankfully, the deposition was held, and I am happy to report that I dominated my opposition so much that by the end, I was just asking the questions for him. (this is NEVER a good thing) And while, I do not have a great message to leave you with, I have to admit that I enjoyed my time in Sheepshead by the Bay... well atleast the first time...

I am a bad person.