Magic Bus

So yesterday upon returning to the Dirty Will from my brief sojourn to New Brunswick, I happened to take a quick peek out my window and gazed my eyes upon this bad boy...













At first, I thought that the bus, which is that murky green monster in the picture, possibly was the creation of one of my artistic neighbors, who thought it would be fun to paint a random old school bus green and parade it around Williamsburg as some type of portable art exhibit/hipster mobile.













Now, such a creation in my neighborhood seemed to be entirely plausible to me since the inhabitants of my neck of the woods have exhibited such flare for the absurd in the past like when there was a jet black school bus parked down the road from my house for months at a time that I think someone was living in. Actually come to think of it, maybe that was the anti-version of this bus and there is some kind of crazy bus turf war going on in my hood with the green bus people having secretly eliminated the black bus people several months ago. And once again that would not surprise me either...

Anyway after a little more investigation, I realized that this bus was not in fact some whacked out statement about individualism nor part of some bus gang battle but rather a kid's party bus that apparently can be rented for an afternoon for your child's birthday party, communion celebration, or social status booster event to make him or her cooler in the eyes of his peers.














Now on the inside, the bus appeared to contain a variety of activities for little children to enjoy as well as a slide running out the back door for the kiddies to slide down. I have no idea what specifically the games inside were, but I imagine bubbles and balls were prominently involved.

Now, I am not a parent as I do not have any children or don't know that any fruits of my loin exist out there in this crazy world, but a painted school bus just seems like an odd source of entertainment for a child's party. Actually, it's just downright creepy. I mean doesn't this whole business scheme just wreak of some kind of contorted way to molest children, and why in God's name would you let your child go to a party where the other kid's parents were going to rent a "bus" where the kids can then go inside and play. None of this causes any of these parents to wonder what exactly these parents or the crazy bus people are up to?

Moreover,is Chucky Cheese too cool for these people? Here's an idea, what about just getting a clown to make balloon animals?

Further, what the hell was going on in the minds of the proprietors of the Fun Bus when they decided that this is what they wanted to start as their business. I mean if they are not pedophiles how exactly did they decide that the way to make their fame and fortune was by getting an old school bus, clean it up, paint it crazy colors, put god knows what inside, and then let people rent out the bus as a source of entertainment for the kiddies. And again, how do convince people to rent this son of a bitch for the day and then, convince them to let their kids play in it?

AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT THINKS THE WHOLE IDEA IS WRONG AND FLAWED? WHO IS LETTING THESE PEOPLE REPRODUCE SO THAT THEY CAN LET THEIR KIDS PLAY ON SOME SKETCHY FUCKEN BUS? WHY ISN'T THE GOVERNMENT AFTER THE OWNERS OF THE FUN BUS OR TRYING TO TAKE THESE KIDS FROM THEIR PARENTS?

What is being done to stop these people? And finally, when the bus left today, did they take the children with them? And weren't the renters of the bus just asking for it if they did?

GOD DAMN YOU SUPER GREEN FUN BUS, WHEREVER YOU MAY BE....