A WEEK IN DELAY

For the last week, I have been trying to find some time just to write something or anything. I mean last week was my birthday and although all celebration should have ended on the 5th of October or possibly the morning of the 6th, I decided at some point last week to continue my celebration until some time early Monday morning of the 10th after I completed a pub crawl in the Lower East Side with my partner in crime, Dirty D. While at times, I viewed the events of the last week to be in direct contradiction to my 30 day fast from alcohol, I have come to conclusion (whether right or not) that I am going to have weeks like the one I just had as I am a creature of excess, and as long as a week does not progress into two weeks or more, I should be just fine. The key as my wisest of friends has told me when I recently entered this little slump is to remember that at the end of the day, moderation is what we are striving for and I am confident I can achieve that and so much more... Anyway, my present consumption aside, let me get to some shizzle that has been on my mizzle... (or mind, I have been playing a little bit too much Grand Theft Auto-San Andreas lately)

1. Happy Birthdays go out to Popstar and Pamarama. Today is the DOB of the Popstar while tomorrow, Little Sis Pamarama blows up the birthday scene with the big 25... HOLLA....

2. Work is killing me. I really have nothing to add other than there is NO REASON for me to have come home at ten o'clock tonight as this makes me want to write on this damn thing about as much as it makes me want to ask my roommate, the Jewish Journalist, to take a giant dump on my chest. (albeit a kosher one... and just so it is clear, The Roommate is actually a Jewish Journalist working for a jewish tell all rag in the local metropolitan area.. and although I think the experience he is getting is worth it to him, the constant appearances at crazy Jewish wine parties, cheese tastings, and being exposed to the dirty Jewish political underworld during his weekends nonetheless is starting to really wear on him... I think he may even be converting to Catholicism soon.. I'll be here all night tip your bartenders.)

3. In baseball news, the Sox were eliminated from the playoffs and thankfully so were the Yankees. Now as Bob Jingle has so deftly analyzed in his recent piece, the Sox lacked essentially everything that got them there in 2004, but at the same point instead of dwelling on the decisions that the Sox made this year, I prefer to look at what they did not do and why this means that they are going to win the World Series in 2006. Essentially it all boils down to the fact that the Red Sox unlike their arch nemesis the Mother Fucken Yankees did not panic this year meaning that unlike the Yankees they did not sign every possible pitcher and/or sucky outfielder on the market in hopes that these second rate morons would somehow make the other 200 + million dollars the Boss spent on that shit force of a lineup win a World Series and thus make the season a success.

REMEMBER THE YANKEES SIGNED HIDEO NOMO TO A MINOR LEAGUE CONTRACT... Repeat that to yourself seven times and then remember that he was last effective sometime during World War II when he was flying kamikaze missions in the Pacific... yeah I said FUCK HIM... and judge me....

But back to the point, the Yankees essentially rebuilt an entire pitching staff with Randy Johnson as their number one starter before the entire season started and ended with Randy Johnson and I think the announcers from the YES network as their pitching staff. Now the Red Sox proceeded in similar fashion except that when the wheels came off somewhere in the middle of the season, Theo did not necessarily panic instead he started to use some of his younger guys, made a couple of economical moves, and essentially told the entire Red Sox Nation that we were either going to win with the guys we got or it was the proverbial wait till next year. And I guess the Red Sox kind of split the baby on this one in that they made the playoffs but in the end got swept by the Chi-Sox, who were far superior in the areas that mattered i.e. EVERY POSSIBLE FACET OF THE GAME.

And you know what, I am kind of ok with the overall outcome for the season because I think that by the end of this year, this team was very very tired due to all of the off-season brew ha ha of being the World Champions for the first time in 86 years and thus, saving an entire part of the country from being losers for the remainder of their lives and dying bitter and alone... (actually, Sully, you are still dying bitter and alone.. because you are WICKED RETARDED but that is because you never graduated from Revere High School, you tool. Ok I will stop the simpleton Masshole jokes.) And they still won 95 games... i mean that is unbelievable...

Now, maybe it is true as Bob Jingle constantly reminds me that the Sox may have been better off with Pedro and Derek Lowe, but the problem is that for so many years the Red Sox wasted their off seasons through with the inability to make any moves by the likes of Lou Gorman and Dan Duquette... And since Theo just won us a World Series, I am willing to give the son of a bitch a pass on the season because I believe that in the end, the Sox will be better off without both Pedro and Lowe. (Plus, Pedro's stats from this season are all bull shit anyway now that he is in the NL since he gets to face the equivalent of the ballboy and the dude that throws batting practice every time through the lineup...while Lowe has spent his time in LA screwing the Weather Girl or whomever that bimbo was WHILE SUCKING BALLS.)

And then there are the Yankees, whose fan base awoke this morning to headlines of the pending apocalypse as Big George is soon going to unleash the fury that only he can on the ball club with the entire coaching staff, the GM, and many of the players possibly seeking employment elsewhere after the season. AND you know what, he got exactly what he deserved because instead of building a ball club with a certain character like the teams of the late 90's and the Sox of 2004, he basically tried to replace character by simply spending more money. AND yes that was the problem with the Red Sox to some extent but I feel that the Sox are in a far better position to be successful than the Yanks who are looking to make wholesale changes.

And finally, I am happy because I got to shave and now can get some real honest to god sleep and possibly even a date (ah that is unlikely)...

And now, I get to experience the sleep that I so writefully deserve...

Oh and by the way, A-Rod BLOWS!!!