Monday, February 12, 2007

Bridge to WHAT?


Recently, I saw the preview for the new Disney-made film version of the book, Bridge to Terabithia, by Katherine Paterson. The preview appears to be heavy on teasing potential film goers with amazing images of the imaginary world of Terabithia that the two main characters, Jesse Aaron and Leslie Burke, create in the woods near their houses. (For those that want a refresher on the plot, it's here.)

Needless to say, it appears from the preview that Disney has disney'ed the shit out of this film, and by doing so, they have created a story that appears to be more about the fantasy world and less about the one thing that I remember to this day from reading this book back in elementary school... and that is, THE GIRL FRIGGIN' DIES WHEN SHE FALLS OFF THE BRIDGE, SMACKS HER HEAD, AND DROWNS... SHE DIES GOD DAMMIT... I have no memories of a fantasy world or the fun times had there. Instead all I remember is that little plot twist with that poor girl in the water drowning. I mean I played in the woods, there was water, there were rocks in the water, and there were trees over that water with the rocks... I could picture it man cause I lived it... I WAS IN THE SHIT...

And so, I don't have memories of the fantasy world that they created, which presently, sounds a lot more like a clever cover up that they invented to hide the fact that they were engaging in some weird pre-pubescent sex shit in those woods. Whatever was going on out there, I remember none of it instead I am left with a solitary vision of a floating corpse. So maybe, I will go and see Disney's new take on the book that has scarred me for these many years. And then hopefully through the magic of Disney, my memories of that fateful fall will be replaced with happier thoughts filled with images of unicorns, dragons, Goofy, Donald, and Mickey and Minnie getting it on somewhere on a rocky ledge in the kingdom of Terabithia.

1 comment:

Greg Tito said...

I thought the same thing when I saw the preview. They're trying to sell it like it's Harry Potter and The Huge Gobs of Cash or Eragon and his Derivative Dragons.

Way to put the spoiler alerts at the top, bra. Now any unsuspecting blog-reader will have the whole movie ruined. Have you no shame?

Did I ever tell you I met the guy who was the main character in the book? His mom wrote Bridge to Terabithia about her son dealing with his friend's death. I met the dude who was the dude. Weird how that shit happens in New York.