No Spitting Allowed

I spend most of my day in my office at work listening to Sirius Satellite Radio. The irony is that for the most part, the radio is tuned to ESPN radio, which can be tuned in on free radio throughout the country. Thus, proving once again that I am not the smartest person in the world and the most fiscally responsible.Anyway, since I listen to approximately six to seven hours of sports radio a day, I get to hear all the random stories that occur in the sports world each day. And that is exactly how I came to find out about this little nugget out of China.

Apparently, the country that willl be hosting the 2008 Summer Olympics has banned spitting in public for the upcoming games. (Read about how exactly the Chinese Government is destroying the country's artifacts andd past in order build the venues for the Olympics here.) Further, anyone that does spit will be fined 50 yuan, which is the daily income of a Chinese college graduate.

Fines for spitting? I know the Chinese Government likes to be in everyone's biznass all the time as exemplified by their whole belief in a lack of human rights protections or the fact that they tortured the shit out of Jack Bauer. But what is fining people for spitting really going to do? How are they going to enforce it? Can you pay the fine on the spot? Can you contest the spitting fine? (I bet the answers to all of those questions involve a small dark room where the offender ends up with electricity surging through your body while standing in a bucket of water.)

As for me, I will now have to cross off going to China for the time being because throughout my life, I have been someone who spits. (insert blowjob joke here) Even when people request me not to spit, I cannot stop myself from spitting. I am a spitter what can I say... I spit, it's what I do. As a result, I will not let the Chinese Government dictate my life and tell me when or where I can spit. So take that China, I am going to stay here in these United States where a man can spit on his own terms even if its into a mighty wind that propels it back into his own face.

For more on the spitting ban and its companion ban, the no cutting in line ban, check out this article from the Boston Herald.