Congratulations has to go out to Mrs. Britney Spears-Federline or whatever she is called these days (I prefer played-out whore) as she gave birth today to a wee baby boy. I mean this is really great for her and her gold-digging husband, Kevin Federline, as they can now officially begin their plan to take over the world by populating it with talentless, nicotine addicted, white trash babies...
Thankfully to assist them in their quest, Kevin has already begun to procreate with another lady, Shar Jackson, and thus has alot of practice of raising children that will never amount to anything other than being frequent clients of California rehab clinics and VH1 reality television shows...
Of course, what celebrity birth story would be complete without the possible name for the new celebritard baby, and thankfully in this case, Brit and Kev have chosen a real winner for a name as they are apparently considering naming their boy, London, after the capitol city of England. (One has to really wonder if they know that is where they are getting this name from or does Denny's now serve London Broil?) But truly, the selection of this name makes perfect sense... both of them are from somewhere in the South, which um... uh.... ummmm...And thus.... uh ugh barf.... ugh... duh...(OH WAIT, Britney loves Madonna, and Madonna thinks she is English... and Madonna has become just as crazy as Britney with the whole Kabala thang.... so that must be the reason.... My head hurts... and I am sweating uncomfortably...I need to go and rake my eyes out...and then eat my eyeballs for dinner...)... God only knows the real reason....
I guess the real winner in all of this is Britney herself, who now gets to reintroduce herself to 40's, her three pack a day Kools habit...and her unofficial competition with Tara Reid to be the drunkest skankiest WHORE on the face of the earth...that I have to see on the cover of Trash Slut Magazine while I am trying to check out from the supermarket... (Of course, I will buy it and read the damn thing cover to cover.)
And finally one has to wonder how much time will pass until Vegas posts the over/under on when Brit and Kev give the kid his first pack of Marlboro's and introduce the little bastard to flavor country? I figure he has five years but with these two morons, it could be a matter of months.
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3 comments:
For the baby's sake, I hope it wore protection on its way out of her snatch. Lord knows what he could pick up from that cesspool.
Guys, Britney's a really a good singer. Give her a break.
Not my joke, but worth repeating:
"The couple was going to name the child after the place it was conceived, but it was too hard to say Olive Garden Bathroom Floor."
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