The Great Poker Disaster

So last night my buddies and I got together for another weekly installment of the Williamsburg Four Poker Night. This week's tournament was aptly named, "The Labor Day Weekend Recovery Tournament," and held in my below street level apartment on Graham Avenue. This week's players, Bob Jingle, Dirty D, and Savage, played exceptional poker after taking a week off from playing while Bob Jingle traveled to the Sunshine State with his lovely wife, Mephistopholes, to live for a week with his sister-in-law, nieces, and nephews. (Note: I think he basically lost his will to live and decided that he needed to see if he could put himself on the fast track to suicide. Although the young nephew appears to be quite the chess player as well as a lover of Mephistopholes' chest.)

Unfortunately, I played some of the worst poker I have played in quite some time. My strategy was pretty simple as I tried to shake things up a bit betting when I usually would not and bluffing a shit load... and that blew up in my face... which it should have... Mid-game, however, it appeared that like Stella, I may have gotten my groove back and the game appeared to turn around so that I began to get that great feeling of fake confidence that only gambling can provide.

And then the whole game went to shit.... Basically, I lost all my money on a hand where I had a straight, king high. I believe that on the table were the following cards: Eight, ten, Queen, and King with another card that was meaningless to the straight. In my hand, I held a jack and a nine. As a result, the only hand that could beat me was if Bob Jingle, who I was facing head up for the pot, had an Ace and Jack in his hand. So I took a gamble and figured he did not have it... and went ALL IN.

AND THAT MY FRIENDS IS WHY I SUCK AT POKER!!! CAUSE HE HAD IT... and I lost all my money.

The rest of the night featured an intense game between Savage, Dirty, and Jingle while I downloaded porn and IM'ed the ladies on the interweb. (Atleast, I got something out of the deal I guess.) Unfortunately for me, due to my losses, I could not afford lunch today and that is the real tragedy of the entire evening.... Oh and that I cried after losing...















Yes, I was that sad, and apparently, I had my shirt off?!?!!?

I will rebound next week and win my five bucks back... You will all see... I want my FIVE DOLLARS...