Why I Am Getting Fired Today

Here are some random thoughts... and yes, I am writing all of this even though I still have two motions to get out this afternoon... I have basically decided to devote the entire afternoon to adding content to my blog instead of fulfilling my obligations to the man, and by the man, I mean Earl, the guy who cleans my office and makes me touch him in his special spot.

BUT I DIGRESS...

As I discussed in my previous entry, baseball is going to be the death of me this fall. I mean last year I was on the brink and BUT FOR the fact that the Sox won the World Series, I would be six feet under right now. Even with them doing me a solid, I still had walking pneumonia for two months after the season ended and can directly blame them for my massive drinking habit since I drank from the beginning of the playoffs onward. This year, the Sox have returned to finish me off in that they should have finished the Yanks off about three months ago... But instead, as of today, they find themselves in second place in the AL East and tied for the Wild Card. Their season has been one of the more frustrating as they have had injuries to key players (Schill, Foulke, Damon, etc.)and a bullpen that I believe now features the corpses of Satchel Paige and Cy Young as the featured middlemen. Furthermore, they cannot seem to hold a lead and have managed to score only at the most meaningless of times.

Meanwhile, the Yanks have managed to pull their collective heads out of their asses and are playing solid baseball. Of course, Yankees fans are making this out to be an amazing turn around by a bunch of blue collar underpaid over achieving ball players instead of the reality that it is i.e. the team with the highest payroll in baseball doing exactly what they should be doing, winning... nothing more, nothing less. Simply, the Boss puts up the money for this team to win every year and if they do not that has to be considered a failure. And so, they should be on the roll that they are on right now.

Similarly, the Red Sox should not be as inconsistent as they are right now because they pay their players a helluva alot more than most teams. And yet even with all of the failures of this season, I still have a good feeling about the Red Sox this year as long as they get into the playoffs because I think that this team is exactly what they appear to be i.e. a bunch of lazy slobs of ballplayers who ooze talent and yet have failed to use it for most of the season although they have still managed to win 90+ games. I think that this team even with their collective IQ of 30 understands what it means to be in the post-season and how to turn it at that particular time because even they can focus their abilities for that short amount of time. The post season is made for these ADD babies of Beantown and so if they can get in, I think the Sox should find themselves right back where they were last season... and no, not down three-nothing to the Yankees... IDIOTS!!!

A few more quick hits off the pipe for you...

The new Coheed and Cambria album entitled, "Good Apollo I'm Burning Star IV, Vol. 1: From Fear Through the Eyes of Madness", is the bomb even with its excessively pretentious title. Their music is definitely not for everyone or possible anyone besides me and the Dirty D, but if you like whacked out rock music, this is your band. Plus, these guys tear their instruments new assholes every time they play and sound better live... Also, I have a giant man crush on their drummer, who plays the drums unlike anything I have ever seen before. So go buy it and then blame me when you hate it. Of course, if you hate it, it just means that you do not know the first thing about good music and should save us years of hassle and kill yourself. Ok that was harsh just render yourself deaf.

In weekly poker news from the 398, Savage won at poker again last night. I am not sure what he has been doing lately although claims that he has been simply enjoying marathon sessions of the Sopranos. I think the reality is that he is watching the Sopranos and playing online poker. I am ordering surveillance for his ass, and yes, I have the ability to do that if I need to.

And finally, fall is my favorite season. The sewer outside my house smells like someone died in it, which is entirely possible since my entire neighborhood is "connected." And I turn 28 in less than a week...

Now get back to work and stop calling me...

Schnoogins.